Looking for some reassurance! Very fussy toddler!

[Raybob]

I am not sure what the point of this post is but I think I am look for some reassurance I am not going crazy. My son just turned 1 and I feel so overwhelmed with how grouchy and difficult he is, I struggled through his newborn days but he seemed to get a bit easier (still unpredictable and stubborn but easier). But now he has just become so so difficult! I feel embarrassed and sad taking him to playgroup as he cries and whines the whole time and I go back to work next week, a childminder will be taking care of him but I worry how she will cope. He is behind in major milestones, only just started crawing and hates it! Always want to be standing and trying to walk but has no balance and doesn’t know how to land on his bum so just falls straight down like a tree and screams (all the time). I feel bad because I just shove him in a walker all the time as thats the only thing that makes him happy but I know that isn’t helping with his development as he isn’t learning how to pull himself up. I just want an easier life but I feel like he is winning which is making him tantrum more because he knows he will win. I just feel really lost and like a failure, all I see is other wee ones that seem so much more happier and relaxed.
Think I just needed a rant and reassurance I am not the only Mum😔😔

Bumping for you op

That does sound difficult OP. Has he had his 12 month check yet?

My DS was exactly like this - a really challenging baby and still really grumpy until he was about 18 months old. He was just never happy and content.

It was really difficult and draining to be with him on my own. It got better when he was about 18 months and he was finally happy. And then I actually started enjoying my days with him.

Not much advice, it should be better when you go back to work as you’ll be getting a break. Don’t worry about the childminder finding him difficult - she can hand him back at the end of the day!

No he hasn’t been seen by the health visitor since he was 8 months old, think his next check up is at 14 months? He has been seen by a physio as I had him referred, she has offered exercises to help us with his transitioning from sitting to standing but he just screams the whole time in frustration. A really difficult phase just now.

Thanks that puts my mind at ease! It’s difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel just now but hearing this gives me some hope!!

I'd call the HV back and ask for her to see him as soon as possible, especially as he's already being seen by Physio and can't engage with the exercises.

I'd ask her to do the 12 month Ages & Stages and also the 12 month Social & Emotional Ages & Stages.

It's important to get her to do both as you have some concerns as it will give her a more clear picture.

From experience, even if the answers do highlight an issue that might need support, your HV is likely to adopt a "wait and see" approach. If he's scoring grey in more than 2 areas of black in some areas I would insist on a referral to a Paediatrician and for a referral to Portage.

If he's losing his balance when standing, is he able to bear weight if you hold his hands?

How's his Speech & Language too?