Reassurance needed :(

[TCx]

2nd time mum. DS is 2.5 nearly and newborn is coming up to 3 weeks

its been so hard I am physically and emotionally drained, I’m ebf this time and feel like giving up and giving a bottle (unsure wether to pump or formula)

DD is a major cluster feeder. Also reached the ‘crying more’ stage at 2 weeks exactly. So today we went to go out and turned back as she screamed the whole car ride and then even out in the pram. She wouldn’t settle

j feel so guilty my ds is just seeing me sit and feed loads when she has her cluster feeding times and then I feel we haven’t gone out as much as a family and I’m worried I’ll turn him into a couch potato as we always would head out when we could

plrsse reassure me he won’t remember this time and think I’m ignoring him or just sat with his sister all day? And he won’t turn into a couch potato because I can’t run around a soft play 2 - 3 weeks post c section or park?

his dad can and wants to I just don’t want them doing loads of solo outings so that ds thinks I don’t bother coming :( so I keep trying to tag along

It's hard op but please don't stop your ds going out with his dad. I get you don't want him feeling like you don't want to go, but stopping him going is not fair on him. Baby is very new and I'm sure feeding will settle, but keeping ds at home because you don't feel able to go out really isn't fair on him x

Hi we have been out it’s just very small walks and he goes to nursery and he has been local playground I can do we haven’t sat in too much it was more today we cancelled xx because of the screaming

i just can’t really do soft play or big parks yet im a bit sore from c section

Help yourself here.
Let your “boys” go out to play! It’s great for a father and son to bond. Your son won’t remember that you’re not there but he might remember the Daddy fun times.
Don’t deprive him of that.

He won't temper this time. You really do need to let DH take him out for the day while you watch TV and feed the baby.

I can remember DH taking DS to Manchester on the train when DD was tiny and DS absolutely loving the time alone with his Dad.

Let them have some time together and give yourself time to relax and recover

Hope you have a better day today @TCx

I remember this stage, my DS was 3 when his baby brother was born last June. It’s super hard being so exhausted and recovering from c section, plus having a newborn who is of course so needy. As PP have said, let your DS and his dad get on with it - it’ll be great for them bonding and gives you time to rest and bond with baby. We were lucky that my DH was able to take a lot of time off, and I think the first 3 weeks they went off to the park or somewhere every day, leaving me and baby at home. We did also watch a lot more TV than usual, but it was lovely to just cuddle up and watch together. Baby was just sleeping so totally oblivious. There are so many nice things you can watch (we loved Maddy’s Do You Know, Grace’s Amazing Machines, Bob The Builder, Fireman Sam and Octonauts) and DS1 didn’t become a TV addicted couch potato. Honestly just embrace this time and do what you need to do to keep everyone sane. It’s so hard, I also had problems feeding and it felt like it would never end, but in fact it will pass really quickly and you’ll find your new groove sooner than you think.