2 year old won’t sit at a table and eat

[Bunny2607]

Hi everyone
DD was 2 last weekend, and for as long as i can remember she will not sit at a table and eat, in a restaurant for example. My first child was good and would sit for the best part of a meal but my daughter just stands up in the highchair, climbs out, runs off in the restaurant. Even if i sit her on a normal chair she just gets up and walks/runs off. Mealtimes are really stressful and as such we don’t eat out much because i spend the whole meal trying to keep her under control.

today i took the kids to pizza hut, it was quite busy and she was running round the restaurant thinking it was funny. I told her no with a firm voice but she just laughs. In the end we left and she missed out on her ice cream because she just would not behave.

i initially thought she would grow out of it but she’s showing no sign of it so imm wanting to try and start changing it myself but i don’t know how seen as saying no etc has no effect. Has anyone had this before? Thanks

I had twins.

We didn't take them to eat out from when they were about 2 until they were about 4.

Don't they eat at a table at home?

You did the right thing taking her out. It's a behaviour thing. Firm boundaries and she'll learn over time. Lots of practise at home. Take the food away until she sits down, the moment she gets up the food is put away. Leave it 15/20 mins and try again. She'll soon learn.

It’s stressful when they are two. I’m only three months ahead of you and we go out frequently with some outings that are more successful than others. I would not bother with a high chair at 2 and practice sitting on a normal chair to eat. We do this at home with snacks. No snacks unless sat on the chair at home and carry it on when out.

Take toys they are not allowed at home and order for them immediately. Like the second you walk through the door. Make it fun, loads of interaction with them and engage with quiet playing on the table. Keep bringing them back if they wander off and take them out if they kick off.

Finally, go with low expectations and eventually it does get better. I even had fun with my two year old last week so hang in there!

It's a combination of training, setting them up for success and personality.

Sounds like your LO has higher energy needs and a lower tolerance for boredom than your older one. (Nothing wrong with either of these things, they just present different challenges).

So if you want to have success with teaching her it's fun to sit down quietly you'll have more success starting with smaller intervals. Don't expect an entire meal at pizza hut, that's too much. Start with something with less waiting time like McDonald's, a buffet, carvery, or practice somewhere that it's safe to let her go off e.g. at home, or a pub with a play area (bring a second adult and let her have breaks to go off to the play area). When she sits nicely for a few minutes, lots of praise and attention. Then you increase the amount of time you expect her to sit over time. Practicing at home doesn't work for all DC because they don't always generalise what they do at one place to other places but it's worth trying if it's important to you.

Set up for success by making sure she's had plenty of chance to run around the rest of the day. Especially just before. And bring lots of quiet/sitting still distractions. You'll probably have to put quite a lot of effort into engaging her attention to sit down and engage with the toys/colouring/food etc. It won't be a relaxing meal for a good long time most likely.

You might want to also experiment with time of day eg does it work better at lunchtime, dinner or breakfast. Slightly before a usual mealtime so she's not too hungry? Slightly later than a usual mealtime so she's motivated by food?

Mine hates the high chair, but we have a booster seat which attaches to the chair and we can clip her into and she loves that. It makes her sit at a better height for the table and isn't as constrictive as the high chair feels. Its portable too so we take it out with us/ to my mums if we go to eat at hers.

What toys/activities do you take for her? Tablet/kindle or colouring, puzzles, little characters etc?

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Munchkin-05169601-Travel-Booster-Seat/dp/B01M6XGKV1/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?crid=1VF3GNZRQJV99&keywords=portable+high+chair+seat&qid=1706987369&sprefix=Portable+high+%2Caps%2C431&sr=

Thanks everyone for the replies.
i had thought to myself she will grow out of it and i’ll just have to accept that we probably won’t be able to have a nice family meal til she is older, but then i said to my husband if we don’t show her and teach her that in a restaurant she has to sit how will she ever know.
she is ok at home, will go in the high chair, but obviously while dinner is cooking she is able to play or watch tv etc so the time spent in the highchair is probably ten minutes while she eats whereas in a restaurant its obviously a longer “event”.
My mum has suggested getting her a tablet but i am loathe to, i hate seeing kids on ipads etc in restaurants and she’s also 2 so i don’t want her getting square eyes!
I think its just going to be a time thing, rather than there being anything i can do to change it.

Faur enough if you don't want to do a tablet but what else does she have to play with at the table?

From 6 months we always had toys to keep baby entertained, a d as they getvolder the toys just change and evolve. Colouring is an obvious easy one or a sticker book

It will get better by itself in time (my 5yo was like this but is much better now, though I still wouldn't expect him to sit for ages) but it will get better quicker if you put specific effort into it. And honestly if you want to go out as a family in the meantime and don't want to do all the intense distraction thing, a tablet isn't the end of the world.

Hi any updates a year down the line ? ☺️