Age to do things with friends?

[CherryPiePiePie]

Can I ask what age your children started doing thing with friends without you? My son wants to go to the cinema and I suggested he went with his brother and would be dropped off and collected and I wouldn’t leave the area (retail shopping park) he looked at me like I had two heads and said he would rather not go! I’m trying to encourage more independence as at his age I didn’t hang out with my mum at all but I know times have changed. I asked this on another group and someone said their 17 year old didn’t like going to places without them 🫣 personally I would prefer to avoid that hence trying to encourage so independence!

13/14

Do you mean going to the Cinema where you drop them off and pick them up or do you mean getting there and home by themselves? I'd treat both differently.

and would be dropped off and collected and I wouldn’t leave the area (retail shopping park)

Yes that’s what I thought at 13/14 I would have been travelling to the cinema alone with friends on the bus rather than being taken by a parent but I know times have changed now and parents are far more over cautious

I have dropped my 13/14 and 10 year old at the cinema a couple of times and will definitely be doing it again.

I can imagine dropping my 15yo at the cinema, though haven't done yet.

If it's the afternoon and you're dropping them off, I'd say once they're in High School.

Yr 6 so age 10/11 is when I started allowing things like this. 13/14 they would be making their own way there and back unless after dark. For context my eldest is 24 and youngest 17 so we are not talking about that long ago

Mine are younger than that. Both pretty self reliant teens. I'm quite over protective by nature but have to remind myself that the sun is to have them as functioning adults on next to no time!

Mine are too young but going off my childhood and what I imagine I will allow- 13 about right.

10 or 11 should be fine

Aim not sun!

Age 10, the cinema is a 5 min walk away though, and DCs go to secondary on their own from age 11 so it's good practice.

Y6 I started letting her out around the local area with friends. Parks, down the little shops etc. y7 she's been out a few times at the shopping centre in town . Dropped off , they went round the shops-while the adult/s did their own thing- , then picked up.

No cinema yet as the opportunity didn't come up , but I doubt she'd mind.

Last time I took DD6 and a friend to the cinema I obviously went in with them but there was a group of boys who looked about 9/10 who were walked in by a mum who got them seated and then left - I was pretty jealous! That sort of age seems about right to me if you drop them off and are waiting when the film ends. OP you could always do that rather than drop in the car park if the kids are that sort of age??

We’re in London though so all the kids are getting themselves to school on the bus/tube on their own from age 11 so I would find the idea that they couldn’t be dropped off at the cinema until 13/14 pretty weird. The norm obviously differs in other areas though! I’m sure what independence the kids have had up to now is a factor, as well as what the other parents think.

I think from around 11/12 - secondary school age.

It would depend on the maturity of each child I would say but why did you suggest theit brother to go? Sure if they get on and have joint friends maybe but then if they did you wouldn't have had to suggest it

I think I started going into town by myself at 11.

Things have changed, I imagine at that age I’ll have to be more hands on as in take them to the cinema, drop them off and then collect from the front of cinema immediately after.

Year 6 so far 10-11. This was going out in our estate/town and walking to the next one. She is now 12 and I have let her go to the town centre but she never actually got round to going.

What's most interesting is the difference in parenting. So out of a group of 4, 2 have older parents and are not the oldest kid. These 2 have so much more freedom than mine and the other girl. We are first time parents and 10 years younger than the other 2. Some of them are allowed out after dark and there is little concern as to where they are and are just told not too late. I give a specific time that's later than I would like but reasonable. The other girl has less freedom and to be honest is left out of quite a lot of stuff so I do feel sorry for her but completely understand why her parents don't allow it.

Because he struggled to make friends since starting secondary school and his old friends went to a different school. But don’t want to turn the thread into something else. He hasn’t had an easy time since starting school in September and hasn’t made any friends. But I just mean without parents but then people would assume I meant alone. He has a brother who he could go with similar age.

Thanks all the ages were 12 and 10 I would come in and pay they would make their way to the screen I couldn’t take them to it as I don’t think that’s allowed (you have to show your ticket to get past) it’s not till the summer so maybe he will change his mind closer to the time!