I have 3yo twins, and one has been very "challenging" recently.... I need to up my parenting game a bit I think.
Lookig for good advice - strategies You have found useful, books/websites your recommend... or just some reassurance! I'm concerned that we haven't managed to turn around typical terrible 2 behaviour and has now 3 and a 1/4.
Examples:
potty training was painfully slow and both boys found it harder than I had expected, but one will deliberately soil... I'm not sure how to handle that! Especially as he has eczema , so cleaning it up hurts him (but if he does it in the potty it doesnt) so it has a naturally painful consequence anyway.
Quite a lot ofdeliberate boundary pushing/defiance. I expect some, but I'm sure this is more than typical.
Language regression. Possibly related to New baby sister. He's very capable with language, but has started whining/screeching wordlessly. This is a bit of a mystery to me - he certainly doesn't get what he wants when doing this, as I haven't even got a flipping clue WHAT he wants most of the time! It's a truly hideous noise, and it hurts his throat and makes him hoarse.
Minor (mostly!) Violence. He bit his brother yesterday. He also (mortified...) hit a child at a toddler activity earlier this week. Obviously I make him sit out etc, but he still does such things unacceptably often for his age.
Deliberate, joyous mess making.... I expect an 18 month old to tip the duplo box into the floor because it makes a bit noise and a satisfying array of colours. Am surprised that 3yo is still doing it! Natural consequence of not being able to get anything else out not at all effective...
My parenting style is usually quite relaxed and gentle, but I don't think I've crossed into permissive. Never had these issues with eldest! If she threw a toy, it was taken off her. If she made a mess, we had to clear it up so we had less time to have fun or might miss an activity. Faffing before bedtime means fewer time for stories. I never had to be terribly strict with her beyond that! By this age she understood the expectations and was mostly fairly compliant. Other twin is similar to her in many ways. But I need to up my game to handle the more difficult one. Your advice please!