DD talks so much and is so demanding I feel I can only handle her company for about 30 mins per day..... feel awful

[oneplusone]

DD is 4.5 and has always talked a lot. Even friends who consider their children to be chatty eventually concede that DD talks a lot. When we have friends round at first they love the fact that DD is so chatty and friendly and not shy, but after a while we can see them getting irritated by her constant demands for attention/interrupting and just non-stop talking.

She is at school full time since January so i get some relief from the constant talk/whinging/demands from 9am to 3.20pm but as soon as she gets home it starts again til she goes to bed. I have DS as well but he's not quite 2 and is far far less demanding/chatty. He is happy to play by himself for a while whereas DD seems to need constant company.

Last week DD had a party after school so didn't get home til 6pm and it was sheer bliss! I was happy to see her when she got home and it was only a short time til bed time. It made me think if i went back to work full time i would only have to spend a couple of hours with her every evening which i would probably enjoy instead of dread. But it would mean DS would have to go to day nursery full time which i don't want.

I find myself trying to get away from her when we're at home just for a break from the talking/demands.

Is DD normal? Am i normal? If i'm not i can't change i'm afraid, i've felt like this for a long time but have never told anyone.

I don't know if it's to do with the fact that I didn't bond with DD when she was a baby due to PND and i still don't feel a bond with her now. I love her but don't feel the same connection with her as i do with DS. I find it a strain sometimes to be around her and sometimes look at her and can't beleive she is my daughter, she feels so seperate, not like she is part of me like DS does.

I feel awful for admitting all this but trying to pretend otherwise is just getting too much.

No, don't worry I think it is normal! My daughter is very active and whilst I love her dearly, she can be very hard work. I know of other mums of chatty children who say the same thing. It is perfectly normal to want a break sometimes. My daughter, whilst very chatty and active is happy to amuse herself with her younger sister, so I do get a break then, because her chatter is directed at someone else! But it seems that your daughter is still dependent upon you for company, and I think that must make it ten times worse! Are there any activities that you can set up for your children to do together, just to give yourself a break? For example, I have a dvd of children dancing, which I put on when I need a break and my older daughter bosses my younger daughter around and makes her dance! She is also quite good at getting absorbed in arty activities, which I can then supervise from a distance and get a bit of a break. These may or may not work, but I just wanted to offer some sympathy and say that I think that behind the veneer, parenting is hard work and we all feel like that sometimes. Don't beat yourself up over it.Hth

I feel like this on a daily basis as well - my DS (3) can talk for England. Same thing as your DD. Took him home for a visit 2 weeks ago and even my child mad sister and mum admitted he is hard work with the talking. He even talks through watching TV and he is an only one so talks to me all day long!!!! ARRGGGH cant wait for Nursery - 5 blissful mornings of silence I feel bad telling him to be quiet but its for my sanity. I love him to bits and I had no problems bonding so dont beat yourself up about that. Its just normal with talkative kids. Worst thing is its probably because we gave them so much attention and talked to them so much as babies

I feel like this on a daily basis as well - my DS (3) can talk for England. Same thing as your DD. Took him home for a visit 2 weeks ago and even my child mad sister and mum admitted he is hard work with the talking. He even talks through watching TV and he is an only one so talks to me all day long!!!! ARRGGGH cant wait for Nursery - 5 blissful mornings of silence I feel bad telling him to be quiet but its for my sanity. I love him to bits and I had no problems bonding so dont beat yourself up about that. Its just normal with talkative kids. Worst thing is its probably because we gave them so much attention and talked to them so much as babies

DOH!!!

Thank god - I was beginning to think it was just me being selfish.
My youngest dd is 3.5 and she could talk the hind legs off a donkey (as my old Gran would have said)! I dream about sitting in a quiet room all alone.
Doing the ironing on my own has become a luxury!! I would never have believed I would have said that.
She wakes at 5:40am most days and talks constantly until she goes to sleep again at 7:30pm (ish).
I do have 3 mornings now where she is at nursery and I feel guilty because I love them so much.
She wont start school here in Scotland until Aug 2009 (aaaaaaarrrhhh!)
So you have my full sympathy

..same here! DD is lovely but after 4 hours of being grilled more effectively than any interviewer about everything under the sun I need a lie down!
Find her some bright playmates to natter endlessly to...this is my strategy.
Bed time is worst as she seems incessantly perky and I am almost ready to drop!

dd1 was like she did calm around about the age of 7/8 although could have been because I was so busy with her 2 youngest siblings she actually realised I wasn't listening most of the time!

dd was like this too. i remember trying toexplain that she didn't have to say everything that was going on in her head- it was ok just to think it.LOL
Drives you mad though.Its like your own thoughts have been stolen and you loose the abilility to think without drowning them out first.
i was driving along on#e day and tried in vain to turn down the volume using the radio stick on the steering wheel!then i realised it was not the radio but dd wittering in the back seat.

now she is 12 and tells me NOTHING!

Message withdrawn

sometimes I gave mine sweets just to get a break from the noise in the car because I find it so distracting. Given half the chance dd1 (now 11) will still witter away for the sake of talking/making conversation!

my DS2 is like this.....over and above anything like his older siblings. he just NEVER SHUTS UP!!!!!!!

and if he isn;t talking, he is singing, or humming, or lalala-ing, or twittering. honestly, it drives me bonkers.

and he also does it in 'playground voice' too.....ie, VERY LOUD!!!!

Thank you for all your replies, at least she and I are normal. My DD has even fallen asleep mid sentence with me sitting there thinking she will never fall asleep and all of suddenly the talking stops and i hear snoring!

She is a lovely, thoughtful girl underneath all the talking but I find i can't see this past the talking sometimes. I do tell her sometimes to stop talking and feel guilty but i honestly feel like i'm going mad at times. Her normal volume is also shouting which drives me mad and she says she has to shout because we don't listen to her!

I found myself thinking the other day that at least once she starts secondary school she won't finish til 4 instead of 3.20 but that's years away!

I know i need to make more of an effort to arrange playdates etc so the talking is not directed towards me so much!

I am kind of worried that so many of you have DS's who talk a lot as i thought it was a girl thing. What on earth am i going to do if DS turns out to be a 'talker' as well?

was thinking about this again this morning......DS was in the bath on his own today (a rare feat in this house as normally the bath is run and at least 3 pile in), and he was singing, loudly to himself, all the xmas songs from the school concert.

he then went on to the funny made up ones to the tune of 'jingle bells', inserting his brothers name in here and there, and making his brother have very funny accidents in the songs too.

he is now chatting away to his breakfast cereal (slow start here) and telling it all about easter, the bunny, and the eggs he is hoping for........

one day he will shut up I am sure, and then I will miss it all terribly and wish to rewind to now!!!!

well with any luck they can talk at each other

My dd2 is the same. She's at nursery in the mornings and it is such a relief -- though now she's on holiday, I have to think up ever-more ingenious ways of getting her happily playing with her sisters.

One thing I noticed with dd1, who used to be a chatterbox, is since she learnt to write she's much quieter, as she's happily composing long illegible messages for everyone.