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Why is 3-year-old constantly having poo accidents? Going crazy!

6 replies

purpledaze24 · 02/02/2024 19:11

My 3.2-year-old DD has been potty trained for a year. The potty training was all very natural, at her pace. At first things were great, a few accidents here and there but not many. Then 8 months later she started having more accidents. Now it’s every single day, especially pooing in her pants. She does do most wees on the toilet and usually tells me when she needs to go but with poos every single one (usually one a day) she does in her pants. This is whether she’s at nursery, playing in the park or standing right next to me doing nothing! I’ve tried everything- asking her every half hour if she needs a poo, trying to explain that she needs to tell me when she very first gets the feeling she needs one in her tummy not when she feels it in her bum, giving her a treat if she manages to do one in the toilet. I never get angry at her but often ask her why she didn’t tell me. She always just says she forgot or it was an accident. Today I saw her standing still in the park with her legs apart. I knew straight away she was doing a poo so ran over and asked her if she’d done one. She said no (in last few days she’s started denying doing one and I have to talk her into changing her, she at least used to come and tell me everytime she’d done one). I’m at the end of my tether, she sees me throw away her favourite pants constantly but it only seems to be getting worse. There has been no significant change or trauma or anything in her life recently. Her behaviour in every other area hasn’t changed, she doesn’t seem anxious. I just don’t know what to do anymore. If she’s standing still for ages to do it how can it be an accident? I’d understand if she was running around distracted by playing but it’s like she stops to do it, even when I’m right there and she could easily tell me. If she is doing it deliberately then why? We have a really close bond & really trusting relationship so I just don’t understand why she’s doing this. Any advice would be really really appreciated. It’s driving me insane!

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TheHeadOfTheHouse · 02/02/2024 19:18

You need the poo book.

its about how the poo goes to poo land.

the poo wants to go to poo land to be with his family and friends as they really miss him.

but for him to get there, he needs to be in the toilet. If he’s in the knickers, he can’t get to be with his family. So we have to help him get there by making sure he always goes in the toilet. When flushing the toilet, wave bye to the poo and say “go to poo land Mr Poo”

I’ve known afew parents do the poo land thing and it’s worked

mamacorn1 · 02/02/2024 19:20

As previous poster said …you need the poo book.
it worked for us when our dd refused to use the potty.

purpledaze24 · 05/02/2024 18:41

Thank you both for your advice :) is the book called Poo goes home to poo land? If so I’ve looked but can’t seem to find it to buy anywhere. Do you know where you got yours from? Thanks :)

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Pantheon · 05/02/2024 19:26

You might want to check with the GP that she isn't constipated as it can present with poo accidents in young kids.

Snowdropsarecoming · 05/02/2024 19:28

You can download the poo goes to pooland app for free.

Superscientist · 05/02/2024 19:36

My daughter really struggled with poos when potty training but it got to the point where if she was on the potty and needed a poo she got up and wanted to pull her knickers back up to soil herself.
She has food allergies and toddler diarrhoea so she doesn't get a lot of notice that she needs to go and it took her time to learn the cues but she was also actively not using the potty.
We have come pom poms in her craft box so we took 10 of them and a glass jar and we told her she got a pom pom every time she pooed on the potty or toilet. If she got 5 pom pom she got a small reward and a bigger one for 10 and then we started again. We had tried stickers and star charts but they didn't engage her in the same way as the pom poms. The jar just holds 10 so it looks full and very colourful when she's past 7 pom poms. We have are phasing out the potty and for the first week she got a pom pom for 3 wees on the toilet and by the end of the week she didn't ask for the potty but now it's just poos and rewards for 10 poos on the toilet. She has probably 1 accident a month now.

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