Please bear with me as this may seem a little lengthy and off subject at first, but I promise it's all relevant.
My daughter is 13. Her father and I have had 60/40 custody (I'm 60%) since she was 5 years old. Per our custodial agreement, any vacations or travels out of state need to be approved by both parents.
Her father and his wife have 2 children together, ages 3 and 4. The 4 year old is turning 5 in May of this year. They have planned a trip to Disneyland, which will be their 5th trip out there, just 2 weeks before school is out for the summer. This is to celebrate her little sister's birthday. I do not think it's a good idea.
They take about 2-3 vacations a year, which is great because I am a single mom. I cannot afford trips right now. These trips have always interfered with our parenting schedule and always overlap with my time I am supposed to have her. Although I always miss her, I have always accommodated them for her sake. I wouldn't want her to miss out on fun experiences because of my own selfish reasons.
They have changed our parenting time/schedule at least once a month since I can remember. And to keep the peace, I have always accommodated them, even if it meant I had to change my life and work schedule around. I have accommodated them for vacations, trips, family get-togethers, work/scheduling changes, illness, etc.
On the other hand, they do not accommodate me in any way. Last year, my daughter sprained her ankle pretty badly. I kept her home from school the next day and her father and step mom were livid with me. Criticizing and sending me paragraph text messages on why I made such an awful decision by letting her miss school and she would end up with bad grades (She's on the honor roll). Christmas Eve I asked to pick her up an hour earlier so she could come to a football game with me... that request was denied. I tried to see if it could be even 30 minutes earlier.... DENIED. I let him keep her overnight every other Saturday because he felt like he needed more time. When my daughter wanted to be back with my on Saturdays... he threatened her and DENIED. I went camping during the summer and asked to get her early the morning we left... DENIED. I had to leave for the campground the next day since her dad and his wife wouldn't allow me to get her earlier. My daughters birthday was a couple of weeks ago and I asked them if I could let her take the day off so I could take her to do something... DENIED. Her dad said he didn't want her to miss any school.
So with all this being said, I don't want to let my daughter miss school for an entire week 2 weeks before school is out for the year. I suggested they wait until school is out, it would only be 2 weeks difference but they were not willing to compromise with me. My problem is if I say no to them, my daughter is going to miss out and I am going to be the bad guy.
Can I please get some advice from someone? Am I being unreasonable? Selfish? Should I let her go? I haven't given them a firm answer, but if I say no, they will fight back.