Weird experience with school gate mum

[Hubhubba26]

Anyone here ever had a truly bizarre experience where they've been suddenly blanked by a fellow school mum? for my sons birthday we invited his new best friend and his mum to our house for their first ever playdate. Made a real effort, set up some games, laid out some food etcetera

They stayed for a good 2 hours, boys played really well together me and my partner had a nice chat and glass of wine with playdates mum. Left on a good note, so far, so good. Except ever since the mum is not only blanking me at the school gate but looking quite scared whenever I try to talk to her. The other day I was in bed poorly so my DH did pick up. Yep you guessed it upon seeing DH playdate mum chatted away to him quite happily.

Any thoughts on what the heck is going on. Has anyone had a similar experience? I'm not asking to be the womsns new BFF but a simple normal hello would be nice xx

Not necessarily. I would suck it up for my dc.

Big hugs xxx

Not the same scenario but I had something similar with neighbours. A young'ish married couple moved into our cul de sac where we had lived for 15 years. We were really friendly with all the other neighbours who had lived there as long or even longer. We all used to have communal barbecues and visit each other's houses for drinks at Christmas for example.

Admittedly the new couple were a bit reserved and didn't join in these events but they spoke to everyone else in the street (about the weather etc) except us. At first I thought it was just my imagination but I realised that they would actively scurry inside looking scared if they saw me. I didn't know them at all, there was no previously history, shared acquaintances or anything.

It was really weird and a bit upsetting tbh. Unfortunately I never got to the bottom of it.

Some school parents can be right weirdos - don't give it any head space.

I’d just go over and start chatting and see what happens.

Maybe there's an issue between the kids?

People coming up with reasons like she doesn't want to reciprocate or didn't like the conversation seem to have missed that the woman was happy to chat with dh at pickup. Just not the OP

I blank people all the time. Through sheer not noticing it's them or being in my own world. And sometimes, specially at pick up and drop off sometimes the convention is you're both just ...there...and you walk past each other, not turning away rudely but just not doing anything special in acknowledgement. I don't smile and say hi to every mum I walk past as I drop off, even ones that I know quite well.

So she might just be not thinking about you at all particularly. That to be honest is usually what drives most people's behaviour, rather than fear or malice.

She has made friends with your husband but not you. Sometimes it's the obvious answer.

I would HAVE to ask otherwise it would eat me up. Just be very friendly and non confrontational and say something along the lines of “hey I was just wondering if everything was ok? I had a lovely time the other evening but I was worried something may have upset you.”

There are people like this. I'm not one of them. So they can come across as very rude. Other people mention it, then I take it less personally.

Maybe your DH is more approachable or approaching her? Are you walking up to her & saying "hi Linda, how are you?" Or just looking at her from afar?

All of this, op your world may revolve around you, as in everyone's does! But how do you know you don't 'blank' anyone else?

We all have our own thoughts and actions I was at school pick up and drop off to do a job, I was nice and friendly sometimes but it was not a soap opera to me

I just want to say that I'm always really distracted at school drop off / pick up. I'm just focusing on my kids and got the 2 year old in the buggy and I don't really notice much else. Don't mean to be rude I just find it hectic. Could she be like that too maybe

Either she likes your husband or your husband has flirted with her/said something negative about you.

Wtf!!!! Jump to conclusions much?! Why does the whole of MN think their husbands are such unbelievable hunks that every woman with a pulse is after them.

😂

If that were me (many moons ago) I would be the blanking mum due to my own anxiety and probably paranoia.
Example - I look like shit, I just want to get through the school gates and get child in without seeing anyone.

If I felt okay at drop off or pick up, then I would speak to your husband. Not because I fancy him, but because I'm feeling a bit more confident today.

It's a minefield when you have anxiety and you judge yourself. You just don't want to be there.

I don't think it's because she fancies your husband 🙄 quite the leap.

There are quite a lot of posts on here like this and it makes me feel glad to be autistic and not to enjoy socialising in the first place.

Whatever has made this woman act weird, there is no point in giving it headspace. In 5 years time your son might have moved on to other friends. You don't need her.

Except that she chatted away quite happily to the husband, both at the house and at the school gates.

I was just wondering though, whether the reason she looks panicked is because she's worried that she now needs to invite you to her house and there is some reason why she doesn't want to?

@PrawnDumplings you could be onto something there. DS divulged today that they'd had an argument. Nothing serious as I chatted to the teacher about it. But what a strange reaction from the mum? Kids are kids after all.

I had a similar experience with someone ignoring my text inviting their child for tea. I have found out a year later that the kids really don't get on very well. Such weird behaviour.

@MyopicBunny I mean maybe. But she doesn't need to. There's really no pressure. Me and my DH are the most laid back ppl you could meet. *sigh

There's nowt so queer as folk OP. Been ghosted by a mum friend recently. I would like to know why, just like you would like to know why!

What makes sense to them makes absolutely no sense to you! It's maddening, all you want to do is ask but you may actually never get to the bottom of it.

If you do find out, let us know, I'm slightly intrigued having experienced similar - I have no theories sorry apart from maybe there's some issue between your kids? Doesn't explain niceness to your DH though.

Will do!