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Could these personality traits add up to something more

2 replies

Curlewwoohoo · 31/01/2024 12:20

Hoping for some thoughts on whether some things to do with my 9yo daughter add up to anything more, that I ought to look into. Entirely possible that they don't.

  • Dyslexic.
  • Lots of sleep issues over the years, good and bad spells, a lot of props.
  • Some social struggles, including understanding social niceties, some issues with friendships although does have a couple and gets on well with random kids she meets.
  • There's something I'm struggling to define about being quite a hard work person, hard to please.
  • Constant nail and finger chewing and picking.

I just keep falling back on, she's one of life's more awkward people. Which feels not the right way to put it. Even if it's just in my head. Of course I love her dearly and she has many qualities!

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skkyelark · 31/01/2024 21:04

I would say they could, and if she's finding life a bit hard going, I would be inclined to try and explore it further before she starts secondary school (and waitlists are so long, that would mean starting now). If there is something there, a lot of children who cope in primary can start to really struggle in secondary, when it all gets bigger and busier and more demanding.

Social struggles – can you pin these down at all? Does she perhaps not see the point of some social niceties? Have difficulty judging the give-and-take of conversations, so can dominate or be too quiet? Either a bit too intense about friendships, or perhaps the opposite, can seem at times like she's really not bothered, and that ends up cooling the relationship.

Chewing and picking at nails/fingers – any other fidgets? What about when she was a toddler or preschooler? Or any other signs of anxiety, perhaps? Or perhaps sensory-seeking behaviour (really liking/disliking certain fabric textures, certain tastes, certain smells, even activities like swings or a trampoline)?

A hard work person, hard to please (which does sound like she is maybe finding life a bit hard) – is there any pattern to this? Maybe in terms of liking things just so, having strong likes/dislikes, difficulty compromising with what the rest of the family wants? Or maybe it flares at certain times, in a tricky mood after school, or at the beginning/end of school holidays?

Equally, it could be 'nothing', just personality and a bad run of luck with friendships. Sorry, that's not entirely helpful.

Curlewwoohoo · 31/01/2024 21:09

Really appreciate the reply!!!

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