Feel myself withdrawing

[Sarasxx]

Mum of 2, 26mo and 2 week old

I feel like since the birth of my 2nd child I just don’t want to see anyone. I feel like realy overwhelmed and over think social situations even the simple ones like nursery drop off/ pick up for my eldest ! It’s like I’m just socially drained

And even with visitors we’ve got people who still want to visit and it’s stressful. I feel like I’ve got nothing left socially apart from for my kids (and DH) but I also want to consider my DS he’s just over 2 years old
hes kind of shy sometimes and can be very nervous and get upset at people he doesn’t see often - undedatandbly

some family (not mine… lol) have been just a bit much constantly asking is he going over to the baby what’s he like with her, asking him to come over stand by her etc

hes been amazing with baby I must say, so gentle and giving little kisses but at the end of the day he’s 2 so he is only 10% interested really. Lol

but hearing family what feels like bark orders at him is a bit, much it grates on me. To the point where we’re finding visits too much sometimes

is this normal with multiple kids? The little energy I’ve got (cluster feeding and post c section, I’m zapped) I preserve for my kids

Absolutely normal. And your instinct to keep your energy for them sounds spot on. If you do decide you need to do visits, be direct and say that you can only manage an hour, excuse yourself and retreat to your room if they won’t leave.

You're only two weeks postpartum! It's a huge adjustment, especially for your 2yo. Everyone needs to back off him completely, he must be so overwhelmed, my dc1 was. Have a week or two with no visitors so everyone can adjust. Your visitors can wait.

When I said you're only 2w pp - I mean, give yourself a break, it's totally normal to be grumpy and weepy and fed up. You're still healing and everyone is adjusting

At two weeks post partum with a 2YO, I had my ex home with me still! He did all the nursery runs etc (I couldn't drive after csection) and did most the stuff in the day with the kids while I slept! We made a point of saying no to visitors for a while and generally went to other people so we could control when we left etc.

Tell everyone to bugger off and leave you all alone!

Yeah I just feel under so much pressure to get visits out the way. To be normal again and not feel up and down and completely exhausted

it is hard because the guilt I have for my DS is insane especially with EBF as she’s cluster feeding a bit and DH has took over everything and DS has adjusted amazing and been a little star! He hasn’t even got upset or anything. I just feel so bad like does he notice mummy isn’t playing as much or mummy hasn’t done nursery drop off in 2 weeks etc :(

I just feel so overwhelmed and want to keep things as normal as possible for my DS and not have pressure on him

but yes DH’s family just keep saying “what isnDS like with DD” and it comes from a good place but he’s 2 , he isn’t exactly changing nappies or getting her dressed not sure what they expect! He’s so young himself

If it were me I'd just say that to dh's family, firmly. "He's only 2, it's early days, I don't want anyone to put pressure on him to show affection or "help" with the baby so stop saying those things please".

And fob off your visitors! Book them in proactively so they don't pop round. Tell them it's because you want to spread out the visiting so you have something to look forward to - I've used that line to good effect.