Shall I cancel party?

[rainingcatsanddawgs]

So DC is booked to have a birthday party soon. The party is joint with another child.
There has been a recent bereavement in the other child's family. They are understandably upset.

Shall I cancel the party?

Surely it's up to the other family?
A party might be what their child needs to help cheer them up a little.

I wouldn't without asking the other family first.

Won't your DC be disappointed?

Im guessing they’d still want to acknowledge the child’s birthday, so maybe they want the party to go ahead. I’d ask them first (before cancelling). Could you maybe often to do more of the party work so the parents don’t have to, but their child still gets the party?

I’m assuming it’s a grandparent rather than someone in the immediate family.

I’m not sure why you’d have to cancel your child’s side of the party? If the kids family who have had the loss don’t want to continue then that’s on them but there’s no reason you can’t continue your half of the party?

Yes you're right, it is.

Obviously I wouldn't cancel anything without consulting the other parent and would go by what they want and say.

But if they say they can't go ahead on their part due to sadness. But would be ok with me going ahead with it with just my DC, would that be insensitive of me to go ahead?

I don't want to let my DC down as they were looking forward to it. But at same time don't want to come across as insensitive either.

Why would a grandparent dying mean a joint party is cancelled?

Yeah if they still want to go ahead, I can take the lead on getting everything in place, so the children can still have their party.

But I guess if they're too sad, etc. to go ahead on their part, then I can go ahead with just my DC celebrating I suppose.

They have indicated anything? so why are you complicating it?

This is the way to go I think. Keep planning and take over any tasks they had. When you feel it is appropriate let them know you have sorted it all and if there is anything else you can do to help as such a tough time.

Thank you @Bladwdoda

I think that's what I'll do.

@Bladwdoda and everyone else that might guide me.

So with the bugs going around, myself and DH have what I think is a very nasty flu, very high temperature, coughing till my eyes water and chest hurts, etc.

We tested for covid, it came back negative.

DS and other DC are fine.

We could use medications on day to mask symptoms hopefully and crack on. But it would be lousy for us with fever of 40 degrees. Plus I don't want to infect any other parents or children with this nasty bug.

1. Medicate up and hope for the best.
2. Persuade extended family members to joint host.

WWYD?

Definitely 2, my mum or mother in law would happily step in for us in these circs so that's what I would do.

Have the other family decided they wanted to go ahead? Can they take the lead and you get an aunt or Granny to take your child?

The other family are laid back so I'm not sure they would comfortably take the lead.

Have not asked extended family member yet. Have hinted. But no confirmed 'yes if it's emergency we'll take over' type of response yet. They have just said keep us updated on how you feel.

But I would guess since DH & I are really really ill and infectious (coughing), they might step up.

You're very lucky to have such supportive MIL and mum

Yes the other family are still going ahead.

Oh I'm sorry if that's not the same circumstances for you OP. I would outright ask them if they'd be prepared to, then you'll know where you are at least. How about siblings?

@YesThatsATurdOnTheRug

Yes my own mother forgot DC's birthday! DC rang her on DCs birthday to catch up.

Yes it would be in laws. Yeah, just need to bite bullet.

This bug is horrendous, don't want anyone catching it.