Telling 10 year old they need to bath by themselves now?

[SoLuckyToHaveYou]

DS is 10 and over the last year has become more wanting of privacy for dressing/undressing/using the loo (which seems quite right to me). However, he still wants either DH or me to stay with him at bath times. He is quite capable of doing all that he needs to washing wise, he just doesn’t want to be alone and this seems to take precedence over his need for privacy. I feel he is approaching the stage where he really should bath alone, especially where I am concerned. Does anyone else have experience of this, and have any words of wisdom for me?

secondary school next year?

One sleepover and one school residential in Year 4, both fine. Secondary will not be until September 2025.

My 10 yo is the same and is a sensitive little soul. I have just started to leave her for longer. In the shower she's more independent, but loves a chat when in the bath.

and he slept fine then?

how about you get more sleepovers arranged and then will be reciprocal

is he an only child?

Could it just be out of habit? Maybe he just needs the ‘go ahead’ to bathe alone? I’ve left my DS bathe alone since 5. I used to stay on the same floor and just be in the bedroom next door so I could still hear and he could call out if there was anything. He also started wanting privacy from 6 so didn’t want anyone coming in.

I'm amazed some posters think it's inappropriate at this age.

My DS10 likes to shower alone and evenings when he's not having a shower but just a wash, he'll do it himself and want privacy. But half the time will forget to bring in his pyjamas and then wander naked into his bedroom with not a care in the world.
In the bath, weirdly, he does like company and he's crap at washing his hair in the bath. Doesn't have a bath that often though so it's fine.

At this age it's very child led as far as I'm concerned.

DD would want me available. I would just hang about upstairs doing things and then help her if she wanted something.
She was the same with the shower, eventually she started pushing the door closed (but not fully) and then completely.

Only on Mumsnet are people worried about nine year olds drowning in the bath

@shewasrooting

...and?

I've never known a secondary day school to have baths, so really not relevant!!

@SoLuckyToHaveYou

He wants company, no big deal. Go in & chat, he'll be at the barely grunting stage soon enough & you'll regret rushing through these ages/stages.

I wouldn't worry about it. Chances are he will grow out of it in the next few years as he becomes more body conscious. I wouldn't make a big issue about it, potter in and out and just wait for him to tell you when he is ready to. Honestly at 10 I wouldn't worry. Every child is different.

At that age I’d just do showers. Loads easier. Quick in and out then he gets time on the ipad/his favourite tv show/extra reading time in his room (whatever he’d go for). No way would I be sat by the bath every night with a child of that age, even my 6YO can wash herself!

my teen DS bloomin loves a boiling hot hour long bath listening to his music!

My child is much younger but I do remember as a teenager quite regularly having baths with the door open and mum or sister wandering in and out chatting. Sometimes sister or I would demand the other sat in the bathroom to chat to whilst we bathed! I think it's fine to be led by him, he'll surely reach a natural age where he doesn't want it. I think if you insist now you'd be teaching him that his body is something to be ashamed of and kept hidden.

This is what I do

Yes, if a 9 year old can drown then my teenager or myself could too.

Oh he is 10, I get bath time can be a drag but it won’t be forever. He’ll soon be a teenager and want nothing to do with you

If he still wants you to be in there then I'd go with it. I'm pretty sure I was still sitting in the bathroom with DS2 at that age. He made me leave the room while he took his clothes off so I didn't see him get naked, but then wanted to me sit with him even though he was naked.
He outgrew it and I rarely leaves his room without a top on these days (and bottoms).

All of my kids naturally chose when they wanted to be alone. You could always sit on the loo and read or just pop in out while you sort washing

My 11yo DD gets in my bath with me 😬 we can barely fit now 😂

Seriously, it's fine. You're his mum. He'll seek privacy when he needs it.

My 11 year old still sometimes likes company in the bath - she’s entirely independent at washing etc but often likes to chat. If I’m not doing anything else I often join her in the bathroom, if I’m busy I sometimes sort washing on the landing with the bathroom door open so I’m close by. The other thing that’s really helped make her feel happier when she wants me there but I’ve got other things to do is popping an audiobook on for her to listen to jn the bath.

My DD2 loves baths + was the same, he was just bored. He now watches youtube on his tablet in the bath, inside a plastic freezer bag on my wooden bath caddy. My Dad has copied and does it too now! 😆

Afaic (thinking of my bro, who's 12 this year), a pre-teen boy doesn't NEED privacy to do anything in the bathroom. I guess it depends on the situation. When I lived at home (l'm 20 and now "alone"ish), we didn't have the time or space for J to bath or toilet alone. But I understand that now he does have his own key. Personally don't think pre-teen boys should assume they need privacy - however it sounds like he's happy not having privacy, so why not be happy with this? I'm sure in a few years he'll think he deserves it!!