4 year old and self gaslighting

[johnd2]

Just wanted a sense check here.

As normal I have to have lots of boundaries for my 4 year old but I've noticed something and I'm not sure if it's a concern or just totally normal.

Basically he wants to do something e.g. jump on each drain cover, and there's one he likes in the middle of the road. So I say sorry you can't do the road ones, only the pavements ones because of safety. Then after thinking about what I said, he then says he doesn't want to do the road ones. So he seems to process it by effectively gaslighting himself.

Is this normal/healthy or is it to do with the way I'm talking to him?

That isn’t what gaslighting is

Of all the wrong interpretations of the ridiculously overused term this is a corker.

He’s going along with what you’re telling him he can do. That saves a battle. Accept it and move on.

So you tell him no for safety etc them he thinks about it and says he doesn't want to? How is this gaslighting seems he has thought about what you said and thought yer actually I don't want to. How bizarre to think otherwise about a 4 year old!!!

Yes it's normal. Look at the Sally Anne task psychology experiment.

He is acting like a 4 year old

Is it not more likely now he's thought about it he doesn't want to get run over so now doesn't actually want to jump on them anymore?

Thanks for replies especially the helpful ones

As an adult if I'm desperate for a cheese sandwich but we're out of cheese it would be normal to take a position of "I want a cheese sandwich but there's no cheese so I'll settle for ham instead"rather than "I don't want a cheese sandwich".

But if it's a normal progression for kids I don't need to give it any more thought.

But if someone you trusted told you the cheese was dangerous maybe you wouldn't want the cheese sandwich anymore.

Fair enough, maybe he's not the independent thinker that he always gives the impression after all😂