9yo really unhappy (and stroppy)

[Curlewwoohoo]

Hi, hoping for some advice on this as not sure I know how to parent this... My 9yo daughter is very unhappy seeming, and very stroppy! Lots of arguing back. Lots of tears. Lots of you love brother more than me. Lots of crying that no one loves her. Lots of screaming at us. Lots of pushing pushing and will not let anything go ever.

She doesn't know what to do with herself. She finds it hard to entertain herself at home. But for the first time ever I have given up on getting the kids out for a family walk this morning. I usually think fresh air fixes things.

Grandparent has offered her to go this morning, but then my youngest will be upset. It feels a bit like rewarding all the yelling at us. But on the other hand she's clearly struggling.

I'm a bit confused. I'm going for, being the safe walls to rant within if that's what's needed, letting the right things slide, reassuring that we love her, giving her some space, but also trying to have some boundaries that it's not on to be unkind to family. She does get sent to get room. Pretty frequently at the moment.

She's also having challenges at school with friendships, learning partners, and the school work.

Bump! Someone tell me it's just a difficult age 😂

No advice but listening in. I have similar with my 8 yo

Have you spoken to the school? Has anything happened with a friendship that could have set this off? Has she always been a bit hard work or is this new behaviour?

Hormones, kicks in much earlier than you expect it! Recommend Usborne book 'what's happening to my body' girls & boys versions aimed at this age group.
Hits boys early as well but IME girls seem to come out of it more quickly as well, buckle up & prepare for an interesting few years. Lots of tears over nothing, boys as well as girls, no idea why theyre crying. Plenty of cuddles & reassurance.
Keep repeating ....its only a phase, mine are all nearly through the other side & have become quite pleasant to spend time with again.
Oh & a glass of wine or g& t always helps. Good luck!

Friendship groups change so quickly too, best not to get too involved unless actual bullying of course. Most will sort it out for themselves in time..

Dd 10 year 5. The angst over friends hits in year 4 usually for girls- I think hormone related. I heard someone describe these years as having a toddler in an adolescent body. I understand!

Very common at 9. They seem to cry all the time. Hormonal changes. Not to suggest it doesn't need attention but just to let you know this is well within the realms of normal.

Oh thank goodness I'm in company!

@fiskita she's always been on the harder work side, yes.

There are things at school and things with friends that have set things off, yes. I usually get a blow by blow account from Dd 😂 She's not always innocent, but when she is she takes it hard. And she's had 2 days off sick before the weekend so she's bored. School routine is the best thing for her. Holidays are difficult!!!

Mine is nearly 8 and I can't seem to say the right thing a lot of the time! I just speak when I'm spoken to 😂 she's always been highly strung so I am not sure how I'm going to cope with the next few years

Day 3 of her just being vile to me. She's on the verge of tears a lot of the time. I haven't lost my temper but I'm mighty close to not taking her to her hobby on Wednesday.