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Advice needed for a very strong willed / controlling toddler

1 reply

Llewellyn1 · 27/01/2024 21:46

My daughter turned 2 in November. Generally she is a very well behaved, sweet, loving little girl however some behaviours are becoming a little unbearable.

When it comes to her needing a nappy change, clothes change, milk made, put in her car seat, bath time, bed time and so on my toddler is very assertive when it comes to who must do these things for her (usually me), gran or whoever is preferable in our company at the time. Previously this would switch between a lot of us quickly so it wasn’t too much of an issue and we just allowed who she chose at the time without a fuss. I know how out of control toddlers must feel and wasn’t too worried with her expressing her need for independence. However for weeks now she will only allow me to do anything which is increasingly becoming more of an issue due to me being heavily pregnant. If my partner or anyone else attempts to do anything she goes into an uncontrollable meltdown. Often this happens when we are tight for time also which results in her getting her way or we face being late.

Not always but generally the tantrums can go on forever and she is inconsolable, may hit herself and she can become pretty unbearable.

Lately she has now started attempting this behaviour with broader things such as who is even driving the car which of course isn’t appropriate.

Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this type of behaviour? Or any insight to what may even be causing it? I am pretty worried as I’m due to give birth in 6 weeks and of course we cannot continue pandering to who can do what all the time.

My partner too can get a little huffy when she acts like this as i can tell he feels rejected and perhaps isn’t as persistent as he could be which I know may not be helping this situation.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
NuffSaidSam · 27/01/2024 21:55

You just need to tell her kindly and firmly who will be doing what job. Let her tantrum, she's expressing her emotions and that's fine. It's fine to be upset when a decision doesn't go your way. But she has to learn that this is the nature of life and she cannot be in control of these types of decisions. You just need to make a choice and stick with it.

You could try offering another choice in an attempt to distract her, for example, 'Daddy's going to take you for your bath now, do you want pink bubbles or blue bubbles?' or 'I'm going to do your nappy now, shall we do it upstairs or downstairs?'.

In part, this will be because she's sensing the massive change that is about to come her way in the shape of a baby sibling. Be sensitive to it, but don't give in to it.

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