Tantrum Hell

[TinyManHugeTantrums]

Please tell me about your almost 2 year olds tantrums.

My DS will be 2 in March and his tantrums are off the scale! He's always been very stubborn and demanding and generally really hard work. He's a good sleeper so it's not that he's overtired. He shouts and cries for AGES when he wants something and doesn't get it, he nips, hits, grabs, throws things aggressively, bangs objects off the table/door/wall in anger.

He can communicate verbally but is not properly speaking yet. He knows what he wants, we know what he wants but when he doesn't get it he goes wild and can't be distracted. This isn't a case of acting out of frustration from not being understood.

My older DC wasn't/isn't like this at all so it's all new to me/us, and quite honestly, we're struggling with the incessant nature of his outbursts.

Yep we are here at the moment with 2.3 year old. Once he gets an idea in his head of what he wants to do or where, it's impossible to change it and we've had to leave places a lot recently. Hitting, screaming. It's pretty horrid. I try to let him have as much freedom as possible and don't set him up to fail, but we have at least 5 meltdowns a day if not more.

We had this with our little boy too. Started around 16 months and lasted until around 2.5. He used to scream and shout for AGES, it was next to impossible to distract him for it. He'd kick, hit, bite (only me though), throw things, also bang his head on the floor for a scary month or two when he was at the younger end of this timeline.

Honestly it only really ended once his speech vastly improved and we could talk with him more. He's always been a pretty quick learner with his speech, but it took until he had a really full grasp of sentences and meanings before his tantrums became more manageable. He's now just over 3 and we rarely get proper tantrums anymore, just the odd wobble or kick off that lasts a minute or two.

Hang in there! X

You have my sincere sympathy, it's hell.

Well mine is 2 and 1/2 and she's had little tantrums here and there but mostly they were few and far between. Overall she's been very well behaved right up until she hit 22 months. At home she is very agreeable which is why I think it came as quite a shock when she decided that every single time we go out if she notices we are going home she begins to scream like a banshee and makes sure everyone within a ten mile radius knows that she is utterly dissatisfied with her care. 😂😭😅

Ever since she was old enough to walk my husband and I made it our personal goal to try and make sure she gets outdoor time at least 4-5 times a week for 1+ hours a day. And this model worked for us quite well for awhile until she started having her daily "I don't want to go home." tantrums.

And we tried everything. We tried not giving into her demands and calmly removing her, we tried sitting next to her until she's done and calming her down, and we've tried giving her more play time.

Yes that was the obvious thing to try! We started giving her 2 hours and then tried 3. It turned out this doesn't always work because first off she will literally play until she falls asleep in the grass/snow doesn't matter what's on the ground! And then upon trying to remove her sleeping body she will fight us and cry all the way home. Or if hunger strikes first she'll just play until she is hangry and tantrum anyways and STILL refuse to go home. One could argue to bring a snack. We did that. But I get hungry too it turns out and she can't survive off of snacks.

That doesn't even include all the life events that get in the way such as needing to do chores, run errands or pay the bills!

It got so stressful and when winter rolled around we just stopped bringing her out and decided to work on her behavioural issues again in the spring time. 😅

I feel immense guilt about it all. But it's not forever. I'm reading a book about coping with public tantrums right now called "The Tantrum Survival Guide" and preparing for the warm weather. Wish us luck!

It's so good to hear that your DS has grown out of it. I worry that it's a sign of things to come and he's going to be a 'difficult' child when he gets older. The thought scares me.

I could have written your post myself.

DS is also going to be 2 in March, and I would swear blind has been throwing tantrums since he was 9 months old. He's also a decent sleeper, though has been showing signs of dropping his nap. ATM he hits, screams, sits/lays on his big sister, pushes, pulls hair, tries to bite, deliberately does things he knows I don't want him to. His big sister did none of it, and this is also new to me and DH. When he's in a good mood he's adorable, and so sweet. But the first sign of frustration, and it's an instant meltdown. It's constant and exhausting, and worst of all, it's also happening at nursery. He's already been bumped up to the toddler room early, as he's so "physical" he was considered a danger to the smaller babies. But he's just as physical with the older kids! I'm at a loss of what to do. I can't keep him and his sister apart at home, as she seeks him out to play if I try (she's 4, will be going to school this year). I take him outside every day, but it changes nothing at home.

I won't lie, I also worry that he's going to be "that kid" when he's older. My sole shining light is that my youngest brother was also a terrible toddler, if not worse. He was very stubborn and headstrong, as an older child (good as gold at school though). Extremely extroverted, and sporty. But he turned into an alright teenager, and is a wonderful adult at the age of 30. Funnily enough he's also a March born. Must be the season or something.

Sorry I don't have any advice, and for the cathartic word dump. But know that you are far from alone, and you have my utmost understanding and sympathy.

I can relate to everything you've written! My eldest is 3.5 and a dream in comparison to his brother. He has his moment, don't get me wrong, but I feel his behaviour is more "developmentally appropriate". One of the biggest stresses at the moment is DS2 fighting every nappy change. He screams, cries, wriggles, kicks, twists and turns... It's exhausting. He's a big boy too so it's getting harder to pin him down. Hopefully they grow out of it soon 🤞

My eldest had some fabulous ones. My "favourite" was when we were visiting friends and they suggested a short bus ride into town to see the farmers market. All fine till the bus stop. First bus comes - not the bus we want. DD screamed and fought to get on it. Not placated when correct bus arrived 5 mins later. Still screaming and thrashing 20 minutes later when we got off. Screamed while being carried around the market. Finally fell asleep in my arms..... having screamed for nearly an hour. My friends (pregnant at the time!) Were quietly horrified. DD is a wonderfully behaved 7yo now!

One of my boys had a good one yesterday. He didn't like the toilet at the place we were visiting. Proper lying kicking on the floor screaming fit. Eventually wet himself - cannot determine if this was on purpose or not. 3y3mo - flipping hope this stops soon!!! If he's tired or hungry more or less anything will tip him over the edge. Spoiled quite a chunk of what should have been a lovely trip.

Mine had a fun blown meltdown at church today because they had a rocking horse to play on during service. Service was over so it was time to go. She didn't want to leave the rocking horse. Really put the acoustics to the test. 🫣

@UltimateTantrum ahhhh church tantrums are the best! You just don't get that echo anywhere else 😁ERocking horse sounds amazing, we just have a bit of colouring and some soft stacking blocks at the back.