To get cameras for one DS is home alone?

[Twinkiebinkieseven]

Hi all,

My DS is 11 and will be in secondary school in September. 2 days a week he'll be home before I am for about 2 hours. I'm thinking of whether I should get a video doorbell and internal camera for a bit of peace of mind. It would be great to hear from anyone who had them for this reason or, anyone who would have a reason to decide against it?

You'll never regret having a key safe! It wouldn't have occurred to me if one haven't been provided to us as part of the care package for my late husband, to go with his alarm system (so that paramedics could get in). I was told I could keep it when they collected the other stuff after he died, and it's saved me and my daughters from being locked out many times over the last decade!

When my sister and I were "latch key kids" in late primary school/early secondary and my mum didn't trust us not to lose a key, she put a key in our shed. On a hook on the inside wall above the door, not where you'd immediately look, we'd go and get that to unlock the door then replace the key each time. Same idea as a key safe except we didn't have to remember the number! Make sure you pick something he'll definitely remember. Birthdays may be a little too obvious for things like his friends having a guess - maybe Christmas Day (2512), or Valentines Day (1402), something easy to remember but not immediately obvious like 1234.

I'm a latch key kid. My mum left us a key hidden for us to get in whilst she was at work.
Great when it worked but she would often not tell us when she was working (shift worker) and forget to leave the key.
My sister was taught how to play the piano by one of our neighbours and a couple of others took us in too

I have two boys that live opposite me that are of a similar age and they come home after school. I don't know them so I wouldn't invite them in but I do work from home and see them come home in tje afternoons. If I noticed they were locked out I would ensure that they had contacted family to let them know they were locked out. Make sure they had weather appropriate outer wear - offer to loan a coat if very cold or an umbrella is raining etc or offer the use of our porch if they were able to let their parents know that's where they were

Ring doorbell ok.
Indoor cameras absolutely not! So inappropriate!

Second the recommendation for key sate.

They are cheap and useful when you lock yourself out! We always put one in every house we have had as so useful.

Get him to text you when he is home. He will forget a few times so maybe put a laminated reminder on the key.

My 11 year old just started secondary. August birthday so really young. 2 days a week also when she maybe home alone and going to and from school herself. Older sibling she 15 but their secondary starting experience was during lockdown so didn’t spend much time at that age alone.

11 year old did forget key. Used common sense and called dad (we don’t live together but dad has a spare for this reason) and he came and let her in. I’ve also left a key with my mum who she could ring too. I’ve also said she can walk up to our local library or sports centre and sit in there and do homework if she doesn’t have a key. Both safe spaces with WiFi access. She’s very good at texting after school if she wants to go with a friend to the shops or if she’s going to be late etc.

Both my kids have iPhones and have find my phone on it and location available to certain people so if I needed to track them to check they’ve gone to school or got home then I could do. They often track me as well. We don’t do it as spying on each other and only use it when needed.

We don’t have a ring doorbell. Not sure if I want one. Originally decided against them as out of my price range but they have come down. But it would just be something to get obsessed with.

Yes a key safe is another good idea. My mum has one. I might get one at some point.

Our Alexa Echo Show has a ‘drop in’ feature where you can access the camera - this might be a good compromise as it’s not ‘constant monitoring’. I remember when my kids were younger (still high school age) and non of the buggers were answering their phones and the land line rang out. Dropped in on the Alexa camera to see them all engrossed in a very loud Mario Kart session! It’s great for reassurance and as long as the child knows it’s there then I think that’s fine.

Also YES to a ring doorbell- we get a lot of (quite aggressive) charity callers, dodgy ‘handymen’ and the like. I wouldn’t want a younger child that’s home alone to have to deal with any of those.

Seriously no!!!! He should be able to be home without being on camera

Lol because you see a child supposedly leave the house to go to school doesn't mean they went to school

My kids start secondary in September and same thing there will be 2 days me/dad not home. I plan on getting a Ring doorbell so I can see they get home. They do have phones though with location on. Main issue for me is SEN teenager is supposed to have an adult present when his taxi drops him off. I'm happy for him to let himself in but policy isn't. A ring camera would satisfy me he's home and what happens after that would be my problem.

I don't feel a need for cameras in the house though. I think that's unnecessary.

I wish there was a drop in afterschool youth club for tweens though, that would be far more helpful! Something inbetween home alone and wraparound care.

I wouldn't get an indoor camera either. Ring doorbells are great as you can see when they arrive home (as well as seeing who else is at the door)
I also use 360 to track my youngest (he is now 14) because he gets the train home and its easier to track him than relying on him to tell me if he has missed it etc. He can also see where I am. However I wouldn't be monitoring him inside the house.

Ring doorbell yes
Internal camera absolutely not!

Ring doorbell, sure. Indoor, no.

Key safe - good idea. But if he has ADHD, you'll need to check the first few times he puts the key back and properly locks the key safe speaks from experience

Also, speaking as a fellow parent of an ADHD pre-teen, while yes, they do tend to be forgetful, lose things etc, he does have to learn a) to put tools in place so he doesn't forget and b) how to cope when things go wrong.... so think through in your head about what is the worst thing that would happen if he couldn't get into the house and had no phone? Is he sensible enough to go to a friend's house? Or perhaps to a neighbour and ask them to call you? Is it worth talking this through with him in advance so he has some ideas of back up options? Does he know your number by heart - that one is important.

Also, do you have Alexa's? I find that useful to drop in if they're not answering their phones or whatever. Also, amusingly, DS managed to get locked outside the back once but was able to shout through to the Alexa in the kitchen to get her to call me!

We have a video doorbell and besides the uses it has I think it would be good for peace of mind being able to see DS get home if I wasn't around.

Personally I love that we have the option of technology to help out. We have cctv that notifies us when someone is on the property and we have life360 to track the family members, gives us and them peace of mind and is there if we need it. Do what you feel comfortable with and maybe have a chat with DS I bet he won’t really care if he’s anything like my ADHD 12 year old. Just because it’s there as an option or when needed doesn’t mean you are going to sit watching his every move like some on here seem to think. 🤦🏻‍♀️

I had this multiple times when I was 11 back in 2001, that I beat my mum home
cameras weren’t an option so weren’t installed. I lived to tell the tale.
My mum had to phone our house phone from her work one to make sure we got in ok.
a indoor camera seems too much. Especially assuming your child has a phone they can text/wattsap/call on. People even have that ‘find my friend app’ now you could even use that to check they’ve got home. Don’t use a camera to check what they are doing when they are there.

a ring doorbell seems a good idea.

my son’s house key is on the zip of his bag. So he will never lose it. As long as he has his school bag then he can get in the house. If my son’s key was in his pocket or he had to keep remembering to take it every day then he would be constantly locked out. But he is never without his school bag on a school day!

We have a ring doorbell, not for that reason but it is really reassuring when my child is at home alone. The main thing is that I can see who is at the door from my phone and answer it, and if it’s a parcel tell them where to leave it. I don’t want my child to have to answer the door so this gives me peace of mind. I wouldn’t get a camera inside the house though.

We have an eufy camera in our carpark and one in the back garden. Must say when I leave kids home alone it gives me huge peace of mind as I can see if anyone goes near the house. I personally wouldn’t have an indoor camera as kids have mobile and call if there’s a problem.

I also have a son with ADHD, it does affect their maturity level, so I understand why the OP is more cautious and as for a plan if things go wrong, despite repeated drilling, I have no confidence about how he would manage a lost key etc and his non existent risk assessment skills do trouble me, same with random people coming to the door, and so yes, I do have a ring doorbell! I wfh mainly so it is more for times when I have to travel, or weekends. He always has a portable charger in his school bag for dead phone prevention, and his key now has an AirTag on - before he had that he lost about 4/5 keys. Just having it on there makes him more aware of looking after it if that makes sense.

My DS is 12 to be 13 later this year and started secondary sch last year. Yes, we have always had cameras around the house that is in the kids rooms, livingroom & ring doorbell just to keep an eye on things.

It helps a lot and yes I would say, get it for the peace of mind.

Get a lockbox to put a spare key in, they are very secure and have been a life saver for my forgetful / loses everything daughter.

She was home alone for 2-3 hours every day after school from 11, I didn’t like it but she loved it and was absolutely fine

I have a ring doorbell for this reason and it works well. Kids don’t always call to say they are home and one neighbour panicked until she was able to check her ring doorbell (her daughter had headphones on and wasn’t answering her phone).
cameras inside are a no no though

There’s a coup in the coop?