Do you do Family Meetings?

[BertieBotts]

If you do, how do they generally work, do you have a set format?

What kind of thing do you discuss?

And how old/how many DC?

I've tried to do this in the past as always hear about the benefits of them, but it's always been really awkward, and felt somewhat pointless when we just had DS1, because if we wanted to talk to him about anything we could just do that without it having to be some kind of meeting. Also, I have ADHD so I would call one meeting very enthusiastically and DS and DH would sit down and politely humour me and then I'd forget by the time I agreed to do the next one, so we'd never have a repeat ever again and I'd immediately lose the notes too. Until a couple of years later when I'd get enthusiastic about the idea and try again. Now that DS2 is 5 and can probably participate as well, and my symptoms are a bit better managed, I am wondering if it's worth trying again. If it works for you, tell me how!

My view is that a 'family meeting' suggests that the family is a democracy and everyone gets an equal say in the decision making. Which they don't. Particularly at age 5.

I think children need boundaries and need adults to make the major decisions for them. It's perfectly fine to have a chat at the dinner table on 'where do you fancy going on holiday this summer?' for example, but a family meeting - particularly one where you take notes - sounds pretty bizarre. Did you set an agenda and copy everyone into the minutes??

Yes, that is the general point - to involve children in decision making, help them develop problem solving, communication skills etc. Obviously not on major decisions which would be too much responsibility for them, but for day to day aspects to living in a family such as dividing responsibility for chores, meal planning, allocation of (certain) resources (e.g. access to a shared TV) - that kind of thing. Of course the adults have the final say but it's meant to be useful to get everyone's input and give the DC some buy in.

Taking notes is probably just a me thing, I take notes on everything or I forget. (That's ADHD again). I don't know if other people take notes, or have an agenda - that's why I'm asking if other people do this, if it is something that works for them.