11 illnesses in 7 months - normal?

[Mielbee]

I have had quite a miserable time since my DD started nursery in the summer. I have had 11 illnesses in 7 months:

2x covid
2x sickness bugs
2x wisdom tooth infections
3x colds
2x tonsillitis

Apart from the awfulness of being ill all the time, I am now not getting company sick pay on my waiting days, which is company policy after 3 absences in 24 months (I know many people only have SSP, which is far worse and I'm sorry about that). Although I've just struggled through most of the above, for 3 of them I was simply too ill to even get out of bed. Pre mat leave I also had covid and had several days off work, which counts towards my rolling 24 months total of absences. At this rate I will be losing a day's pay a month for the next however long which is a stress. And while my manager is supportive I do worry that eventually I'll be taken through the absence process meant to get rid of people who stay off for a tiny sniffle or when they just don't fancy it. I expect this will come across as me having a low bar for being too ill to not work. I can assure you that that's not the case.

I knew nursery bugs would be bad, but this seems to be worse than anyone else I know at the same nursery. Luckily my DD seems to skate through with the odd dose of calpol (if it is a choice between me being ill and her, of course I'd still choose myself, however that isn't how it works) and DH has had maybe half the number I've had and usually a milder version.

I suppose I'm interested to know how this compares to other people's experiences, especially if people say it gets better. Or if this is normal, and it doesn't, how do people cope?

I'd also like to know if you think this is something I should go to my GP about i.e. is this within the range of normal or could it show some underlying condition.

I am also open to tips though I'm breastfeeding so would only take supplements that are both evidence-based and safe for breastfeeding.

Measures I have already taken:

• vit D daily
• vit C and zinc daily
• anti bac hand gel or washing hands before eating especially in the office
• daily walk in daylight
• reasonable nutrition
• no smoking, very little alcohol, think a couple of glasses a month
• for wisdom teeth use corsodyl gel and salt water when they start getting sore and am waiting for xrays to see about removal (brush v carefully but the way they are positioned dentist says is basically impossible)

I'd say that's pretty normal. And I don't see how wisdom teeth infections are coming from nursery.

My oldest has now been in nursery 1yr4 months & only 1-2 days a week . I've been ill more than not. And I get sick, then partner, then I get sick again, nearly every time. She's now just turned 2. Baby is 9 months and starting nursery in March. Even more germs, yay. Having said that, there was lots of conjunctivitis, steep A and hand foot and mouth going around with over half toddlers room off and mine managed to not catch any, so her immune system has improved massively

Thanks @climbershell . I meant to explain that I believe and the dentist agreed, that the tooth infections are happening because I'm run down from other illnesses so indirectly as a result of nursery bugs, as opposed to directly.

Getting sick twice seems particularly unfair on you! Do the viruses mutate inside your partner and create a new strain somehow??

So it sounds like I've just got to lump it for quite a while yet then!

It does seem a lot written down, but probably within th normal range - certainly most of my friends have had similar, we’ve just been quite lucky I think (although we’ve had a couple of colds that ended in my toddler in hospital with bronchiolitis, one of which she passed to her then 9 day old sister 😬😬). the first year at nursery was the worst for sure ane the colds have spread out now!

I would imagine (although this may be speculation) that going back to work and the stress of juggling work and young children probably hasn’t helped your immune system. I take a breastfeeding safe multivitamin everyday, drink 2-3l of water and keep an eye on my diet (plenty of fruit and veg) - apparently kiwis are a great source of vitamin c so I take one everyday. That seems to keep me fairly healthy, plus a walk and daily sunlight. If I feel a cold brewing I start with honey and lemon and fresh OJ immediately too!
I also take a day off if I'm starting to feel run down and still send them to nursery and take the day to recharge :)
Hope it gets easier soon!

That sounds outside the norm to me and I would speak to Gp.

Thank you for your empathetic message.

Toddlers in hospital and 9do babies with bronchiolitis does not sound lucky to me - how stressful!!

Thinking of it as the first year being the worst is somewhat reassuring.

I think you're right about the juggle not helping. There have been some family stresses and my workplace has increased office days which has made me a lot more tired due to earlier get ups.

Thanks. I might have to anyway as talking to my manager today it seems like I need to show that I am taking steps to reduce absence, which includes seeing a GP.

Months of hell. It was actually a year of hell but the first 6 or 8 months were truly hideous.

august - cold and sickness bug
september - another cold with projectile vomiting
October - norovirus. My partner was at a gig 200 miles away when it him me .. and him.
November - RSV
December - covid ( from my dh’s work conference)
January - child hospitalised with rhinovirus, we all got chest infections.
Feb child hospitalised with tonsillitis, we all got it
March - Norovirus
April - NOTHING
May - all had colds, child hospitalised
June - Chickenpox
July - Norovirus

This was 2021 - 2022 and bloody awful because every time he got sick, we got it. Plus every time he had a temp he had to have a Covid test before he was allowed back into nursery. Wine helped.

baby 2 is on her 5th cold and I hope it’s enough that she doesn’t have the same horror of a time when she starts nursery.

Hell indeed and truly hideous too. Plus more hospitalisations which I am so grateful we haven't had...

A slight improvement after 8 months would be very welcome and is coming up, so bizarrely your tale of woe has given me a little hope! Thank you.

I've been the same. It's a mix of gross small children and also the hangover from Covid. I was speaking to a consultant who works in A&E and he says that they're still seeing so many bugs hitting people and much harder than usual because of the impact of lockdown on people's immune systems.

Thanks. Yes I barely had anything during from 2020 to 2023, I can see how that reduced my immune system. It does feel like things are hitting harder. I wasn't sure if it just felt worse because of trying to parent at the same time, but you're right. I can count on one hand the number of illnesses I had where I couldn't get out of bed in the last 20 years.

@Mielbee The horror abruptly stopped after the July bug. He still gets colds and he’s had a few bouts of croup, but overall he’s much more robust. We moved house and nursery this time last year and we were worried he would get sick again because of the new area but no, he’s only had one sick day in the last 14 months.

Haha lucky was probably the wrong word in that context - I just meant we’ve had a couple of illnesses that have ended up being serious but have so far avoided D&V, chickenpox, HFM and all the other fun illnesses a PP has listed!
I would imagine the increase in office days and general stress wont’t help, for me being a working mum involves juggling a lot of plates and I found my wellbeing seemed to be the easiest one to drop! Try and make sure you make some time for yourself (I know it’s easier said than done!) and try to avoid too much stress and being run down. It will get easier - or you just get used to it, unsure tbh!!!

So the first few months were awful for my DS, but by summer they eased off (he started in Jan). I think because they were outside more? Since the start of winter (I’m in the south west so it’s really only been cold since mind December) I’ve had the illnesses creep back in. I had a cold last week, got better and now I have another cold and hacking cough, meanwhile my son has got conjunctivitis (again).

I will say if you haven’t had your flu jab already then it isn’t too late for this year. Also I got my son the chickenpox vaccine privately to try and minimise illnesses.

Final thing is are you in a job with a union/formal sickness procedure? I am and during my rtw/sickness meetings there is a section about ‘any other comments/any other support’ where I ask them to note down that I’m primary carer for a young child.

We are on our way out of winter so hoping for a reasonable summer then!

I have had my flu jab (always do!) and was considering the chickenpox vaccine for DD too, though I think she might have had a very mild version with a temperature and just one huge crusty spot.

No union but we do have an absence process at work though my manager hasn't done any official forms yet. I'm sure technically we should have been doing return to works and then absence reviews and things. If they do start doing it I'll definitely get it documented that I have a young child.