Nursery letting 2 year old nap

[Rujj]

My 2.5 year old goes to nursery through the week. At weekends he does not nap and his bedtime is 7-730 and he generally sleeps quite quickly. On nursery days he often stays awake till past 9pm. He's then shattered in the morning.

They are clearly having him nap although they keep denying it. They occasionally admit it but not as often as this is happening. It's happened again today even though he was well rested this morning and had slept a full night. He's still awake now at 930.

The house is miserable. Adults getting zero unwinding time at the end of the day feeling frustrated and exhausted (other kid wakes early). He is exhausted all through the week, recovers at the weekend then the cycle starts again.

We're at our wits end. Have said so so many times to nursery that he shouldn't nap and it absolutely ruins his sleep and is not good for him (or anyone else!) They say he has not napped but it is clear he has. What do we do? Do we have to change nurseries over this? He is fairly well settled but honestly this is making life miserable for us all. Would another nursery even listen?

This comment is awful!
Staff don't force them to sleep so they have less to do, they allow them to have nap time for the childs own needs and wants and as part of there routine and most importantly brain development, also helps with emotional development to name another! Staff would then use this time to disinfect & clean eating area properly after lunch, take it in turns to have a LEGAL lunch break themselves, tidy up morning activities/chaos, clean paint pots, get activities ready for the afternoon, fill in daily paperwork, update development records if needed.... to name a few things! Some kids will have 20 mins some 1-1.5 hours. So they don't have long to do things they can't always do while kids are awake as kids are obviously priority! I have worked in childcare for 20 years and never forced a child to sleep so I can chill and never known it happen! We wish we could chill and do nothing while they sleep. Not even a parent with one child to look after can do that half the time!
This comment is so wrong.

Ofsted and good practice is about the child's needs at nursery. A nursery would rightly get into trouble if it was keeping sleepy tired children awake. If a child is sleepy, they need to sleep.

Chat to manager.. Maybe look at capping nat so bedtime shifts bit earlier at home.

The nap counts as the daily sleep needs though. So if he was going to bed late due to napping he shouldn't be tired in the morning. It's more likely he's hyped up by nursery so sleeping later and not getting enough sleep.

I utterly feel your pain

My daughter was exactly the same, awake till 9pm. I told nursery but they said that if they fell asleep, then so be it, they wouldn't try and keep them awake.

And we live abroad, where they don't start school till 5 years old! So she was 5 and still napping for three hours during the day during the months before she started school!

Argh

It could be that the child is too over tired to sleep. But they could be just letting them nap. I worked in nurseries and there were lots of kids that weren’t meant to sleep that we would let nap.

I wouldn’t assume they’re lying . Dropping naps at such a young age is fairly uncommon, so this could be a larger picture of your DC having disregulated sleep. Just because they don’t want to go to bed at night doesn’t necessarily mean they’re napping during the day; being overtired to the point of having trouble sleeping seems plausible. I think I’d try to get back to short naps every day and see if that helps the nighttime sleep.

He's very small.
I know from my own life I'm exhausted during the week (would love a nap)
Af weekends life is calmer and easier and i don't feel tired so no desire to nap.

Nursery is sensory busy and stimulating which can be exhausting.

The big issue is not napping it's the lying.

I'd remove him without question

Not all 2.5y olds can have an afternoon nap and a decent bed time. I would says it's 50:50.

I think there are a few things it could be & don’t they’re necessarily lying. My youngest dropped their nap at around 2.5 - they initially had a short nap at nursery which nursery capped but eventually said they couldn’t get them to sleep then either - but on those days we’d still struggle to get them to sleep as unless they went to sleep at 6pm (they’d often fall asleep on the way home!) we’d then struggle with bedtime &/or disturbed nights due to over tiredness - it was as if we missed that first window, there was an adrenaline driven second wind & we just had to wait until it passes. We ended up trying to pick up a bit earlier & then putting to bed at 6/6.30 for a while. I think what they actually needed was a slightly later but short 15-30 nap which we’d sometimes naturally get at the weekend. There have been times they’ve been tired & they’ve napped & they’ve usually told us - I’ve found the last nap bring dropped a bit of a process. My older one was different - at around 3y we’d struggle with bedtime as I think she actually found nursery a bit understimulating then (it was small nursery & she’d been there since 1 so knew all their routines & the other kids etc) whereas I think at home on the weekends she was pushed out of her comfort zone more.

Op I feel your pain. My daughter gave up naps at 2 but went to bed cared for by my parents while I was at work all week. They would insist on putting her down for a nap at midday and letting her sleep until 4pm! This started a vicious cycle of her then not going to bed until very late and waking at 4.30am/5am (because her body was expecting a looooong day nap to make up for it). At the weekend we'd ban the nap and then get her back in a schedule of sleeping 7pm to 8am only for her to go to my parents and sleep 4 hours in the day and it be ruined again! Constantly felt like playing catch up.

They lie because they have to. It will be policy to put the child’s needs before parents requests. And child that needs to sleep is very unsettled and the staff have more than one child to look after.
I have lied to countless parents over if/how long their child slept. If you tell the truth the parents shout, then goes to the director and complains. And no one is going to let an exhausted child scream all afternoon, or jump around at sleep time and keep the other kids awake. Kids get very tired at nursery, and lots of them can’t get through the day without a nap.

And before you all tell me off, remember that the staff only lie if the parents are difficult.

I do wonder how parents think we can “keep them awake” Nursery is tiring, exhausting, full on stimulating all the time. Sometimes children just find themselves a quiet (or not so quiet) space and curl up for a sleep!
can you imagine being that exhausted and someone waking you up? Pretty cruel actually.

I agree.