Nursery letting 2 year old nap

[Rujj]

My 2.5 year old goes to nursery through the week. At weekends he does not nap and his bedtime is 7-730 and he generally sleeps quite quickly. On nursery days he often stays awake till past 9pm. He's then shattered in the morning.

They are clearly having him nap although they keep denying it. They occasionally admit it but not as often as this is happening. It's happened again today even though he was well rested this morning and had slept a full night. He's still awake now at 930.

The house is miserable. Adults getting zero unwinding time at the end of the day feeling frustrated and exhausted (other kid wakes early). He is exhausted all through the week, recovers at the weekend then the cycle starts again.

We're at our wits end. Have said so so many times to nursery that he shouldn't nap and it absolutely ruins his sleep and is not good for him (or anyone else!) They say he has not napped but it is clear he has. What do we do? Do we have to change nurseries over this? He is fairly well settled but honestly this is making life miserable for us all. Would another nursery even listen?

They are lying to you, that’s not good. Have a look elsewhere.

He may need the nap at nursery. It's a very different and more exhausting setting. They can't keep him awake if he's falling asleep. It's likely part of his routine there. The thing that would bother me is that they are lying to you. That alone would make me switch

I never really thought of it like that. Maybe I've been lenient because my other went there too and got on well but you're both right the lying is concerning. Think I'll start looking for alternatives.

If he falls asleep it's not right to wake him and Ofsted will frown on it are you putting him to bed at the normal time?

They shouldn't be lying but at the same time if the kid wants a nap I'd let him nap.

As I explained when he naps it disrupts his night time sleep and he is exhausted the following day. It can't be normal to have a 10pm bedtime at 2 years old.

I wonder if he’s not sleeping on nursery days because he’s overtired and overstimulated from nursery, as opposed to them letting him nap and then lying about it

Is he not napping at nursery and therefore over-stimulated and past tired, hence the problems at bedtime
those days?
Might be worth asking them to let him have a nap?

How are they supposed to stop him napping?

its very tiring for a 2 year old in full time nursery, what time are you picking him up? What do you want them to do when his eyes are closing and his head nodding? I’ve worked with 2 year olds if they can’t stay awake there’s not much you can do! Nursery is much more stimulating than being at home.

I think it could be this too. He could be beyond tired in the evenings and is becoming overactive as a result.

No kid will EVER sleep if they are not tried and often even when they are shattered will still refuse to drop off. So if a child is falling asleep at nursery it is because they need it. There is far much more going on mentally, socially, physically, emotionally.

Trying to keep a tired child awake is horrible they are miserable and crying. Any other parents at nursery will accuse you have not doing your job properly because associate child crying as neglect. You really can’t win. All you can do is either lie to parents or be honest and still get it in the neck.

what time is he napping? If he’s having half an hour after lunch he shouldn’t still be awake at 930pm. If they are following your wishes desperately trying keep him awake till 5pm then of course bed time be later. It’s difficult for everyone.

I had this.
They would say 'he slept for 1 hour...' and I'd say 'WHAT? We agreed no naps' they'd reply saying they got mixed up, there was no nap. I knew they were lying when he was still full of life at 9.30pm.
I went to the manager which helped slightly.

It's easier for the staff to let kids sleep so they have less to do- let's be honest we've all needed to keep kids awake at some point and it can be done.

Op I'd speak to management and if there's no change look for a new nursery if this is impacting so much which it sounds like it is.

You want to keep a two year old awake at nap time and think nursery are in the wrong?

Assuming that this is genuine, I would suggest looking at sleep hygiene for toddlers. It is often suggested that napping can help very young children to sleep better at night. I would follow your child's sleep needs but make sure you are really on it when it comes to the winding down to bedtime routine. I remember when ours were small how hard it was to fit in bedtime on nights we got back late, but it pays off to persevere.

I think some parents forget that nursery staff must put the needs of the child first, if a child needs to sleep then staff should let them sleep. Otherwise perhaps keep your child at home instead?

Had the same problem here when DD was 5 and at nursery (live abroad, they don't start school till 5)

No nap at weekend but sleeping for three hours during the day at nursery, so not asleep till gone 9.30pm.

Addressed it with nursery, they did nothing. Said she was offered a nap and took it (?!?!)

End of tether

Otherwise perhaps keep your child at home instead

^

Working parents??

A 2.5 yr old needs a nap surely?
He must be tired

I think you may do better asking them to wake him after 30/40 min max, rather than not nap at all.

As pp said, if he is napping it’s because he is tired. They can’t be forcing him to sleep.

A child of that age needs around 14 hours sleep a day / night. TBH, I’d say it was unusual for him to NOT have a nap in the day1

He doesn't nap at home and until his night sleep started being so disrupted we weren't concerned about napping at nursery particularly. Anyway not interested in defending myself on here. As others have mentioned lying is a concern so will be having a think about going forward.

My DS was a champion napper, but nursery were happy to wake him after an hour if he slept too long to be practical. Maybe hint that if he naps they could wake him up after a short time?

Or it could be that they are not letting him nap and he's over tired.

So maybe suggest a short nap.

He seems very awake though at night. Doesn't present as being overtired at all really! That's what makes me think he must be napping. I didn't ever have this that I remember with my other one and she dropped naps on her own a bit younger (she's 9 now though so memory possibly hazy).

It's still quite young to not be napping at all. Might be the transition period when they need a nap some days and not others so getting overtired at nursery?

Mine dropped naps at nursery by about 2.5 years (3 days a week) as there was so much going on and they did naps earlier than we did. But she carried on napping at home until 4 years old. For a while that was four days a week, then dropped to needing naps on two days, then to one.

Is he napping in nursery or is he over tired because he hasn't napped when over tired it is hard to then sleep.