Can't put baby down! Is this normal?

[solis25]

It wasn't like this with my first, maybe I was just lucky.

I have a 7 week old and I can't put him down. He pretty much cries if he's not at the breast. Falls asleep there and if I try to put him down he wakes up within seconds and cries. Won't be swaddled. He sleeps well at night only if on his side and co-sleeping and breastfed to sleep in that position (ouch to my back!). He's been like this since birth so I don't think due to growth spurt.

Even his awake time he won't go on a play mat or bouncer without fussing and crying.

Help! I literally can't do anything in the house. I have to let him cry in the bouncer in the bathroom for my 2 min shower.
I can't do anything.

How can I help him be content not on me? Any tips??

Weight gain good, 91st centile baby.

You haven’t mentioned a sling, both of mine lived in slings until they were around 1! They get to be close to you/boob and you get the use of your hands.

Is your baby breast fed? This is normal behaviour for a bf baby.

Both of my babies were the same. I ended up buying a sling and wearing baby so I could get things done.

I also decided just to relax and enjoy it because baby won't be like that forever. Once they become mobile, they are off - climbing onto everything and raiding every cupboard they can open etc! In six months time your baby won't want to be held 24/7. It's a phase that passes.

I co-slept with both of them and they both sleep in their own beds their own rooms now with no problems so don't let anyone tell you that co sleeping will cause issues in the future, for most it doesn't.

Both of mine used to cry in their bouncer while I took a shower but they did eventually stop, once they realise this is the routine and there's no getting out of it they tended to just sit there and play with a rattle or something until you're done. It is not harmful for your baby to cry for a few minutes while you shower. If baby has been fed, has a clean nappy and is safe, they are fine even if they don't sound it. Do you blow dry your hair afterwards? The hair dryer used to put both of mine to sleep in their bouncer!

Thanks both, that's reassuring. @Pineapplewaves what sling did you use do you remember?
I hadn't attempted blow drying, I will try!

So hard not to get down being bed ridden. I want to start doing my post natal exercises to bring my abs back together but literally can't!!

My DS (9 weeks) is the same and it's tough especially as I've got a 2.5yo who needs entertaining but she was exactly the same at his age and grew out of it which is what I keep reminding myself when I'm struggling to get off the sofa with him. And there does come a time when you miss the cuddles and contact naps although it probably doesn't seem like it at the moment.

I have found in the last couple of weeks he's much happier being put down when he's awake and will play for a while on his mat or bouncy chairs, it's just the sleeping we've yet to crack.

I also second pp's with getting a good sling to be able to do a few jobs and free your arms up.

So, yes, it does get better and it is normal but it's also OK to be a bit frustrated with it for now.

I used the close caboo when my DD was v small and then a connecta

It's the forth trimester. He'll settle down but it's normal for them to want constant contact.at this age. Maybe try a sling and see if that helps. Means you can get on with stuff.

Definitely get a sling! I plan on putting my baby due in May in a sling if she won't settle in a bouncy chair when I need to do things

Yes, it is normal, especially for boys. Exhausting isn’t it.

It will get easier eventually 😬

In the meantime, get a sling, lots of ready meals, and have very small goals for your day.

I used to put my baby on a mat the bathroom floor so he could watch me shower, it was the only way to stop his hysterics. Once he got older he loved fetching my towel for me.

Two of my 4 were like this. It's not unusual. They just want to be close to you. I used a stretchy sling until 4 months,and it did improve a lot during that time.one is now 7 and from 6 months onward was totally normal and was really quiteindependent from 3 onwards. The other is 3 and frankly is still pretty clingy, it's just who he is.

Are boys more clingy / hard work than girls then?

Absolutely get a sling and you can google your near sling library too who will give you support.

No, boys are not more clingy than girls but some babies need constant touch and some don’t and some do one day and not the next, or do if they are eg teething or don’t if they are hot or….basically any combination of factors can lead to babies being put down happily or not. But not if they are boys or girls.

Both of my dc were the same for the first few months. It's exhausting but wonderful and passes quick! Enjoy the cuddles.

@baldpenguine

Boys are more likely to express their needs than girls. Boys tend towards externalising whereas girls internalise. This is very obvious in e.g. autism diagnosis, where girls go undiagnosed because they mask much more effectively.

(Mum to two boys and teacher with psychology masters!)

I currently wearing my 13 week old in a Ergo baby Embrace carrier, it's comfortable and easy to use.
We also bed share whilst breastfeeding, she has only recently started to be happy laid under her gym.

At 3 weeks my daughter stopped being able to be put down for naps. She steadily got worse to the point at 18 weeks where I wasn't allowed to sit down either. For us it was reflux related and improved within a few days of being on high dose omperazole.

It is very normal as is the needing to be paced around. Apparently they aren't confident on you being able to escape from predators is your sat with your feet up watching the TV. If you find it is progressing getting worse do reach out for help. A feeding assessment might help. I had a fast letdown and this also contributed to her struggles and her only feeding in certain positions. It took us a lot of back and forth to the doctors to get on adequate reflux treatment and that was only due to a trip to paeds for something different.

@ProfessorPeppy at 7 weeks old boys externalise needs and girls don't?

@Lammveg We don’t know this, but there is research supporting the idea that it starts early.

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10802-020-00623-w

Mine was exactly like this. I used a stretchy wrap to save my sanity, and I discovered randomly that I could put him down for naps if I had the hoover running right next to his Moses basket. It had to be the actual hoover, though - we recorded it thinking it would be easier to play a CD than lug the hoover out every time, but that didn't work, so I think it was the combination of white noise and vibration. He also, for some inexplicable reason, would sleep to Gregorian chanting or Jean Michel Jarre's 'Oxygene' album when he was a little bit older, but only if we started him off with the hoover and then gradually moved it away while turning the music up! (The things you'll try when you're desperate🙄).

He did grow out of it eventually. I think it was partly that he was cold as well - he was born in a bitterly cold March and was much easier to put down by the summer.

Thanks all. I have a freerider sling that I bought for my first baby but gave up using it as it was such a faff to get on and get him in it. Maybe I should persevere and it will get easier? Or is that sling a bit crappy for home use?

@spiderlight that's hilarious!!!xx

@ProfessorPeppy I'm not saying it's not potentially true in childhood/adolescence given various factors involved in a child's early life based on their gender, but I think that 7 weeks is a little too early to see such traits.

What is the freerider - is it a stretchy wrap or another kind? I found stretchy wrap best for newborn as you tie it on then you can put them in and out without having to adjust around them.

Newborn hug hold is the position I used. Don't leave slack in it as the stretch provides the space and good support for them. Having it too loose is hazardous.

Mine was like this for the first two months (though it did turn out she had CMPA). I decided to lean into it and watched lots of box sets! It all changed once she got interested in the world around her more at around 2 months old.

PS. I appreciate this isn't your first baby so you probably don't have the luxury of sitting on your bum watching box sets like j did. Sling sounds like a good idea!

Found this thread in the middle of the night searching "can't put my baby down".
How are you getting on now OP @solis25 ?
It's at night that we're struggling with our ds, who is 3 weeks old. During the day It's mostly fine to hold him, including in a sling, and he does actually nap sometimes in dockatot during the day (supervised obviously).
But what did you all do at night? He won't go down in his cot at all or even on his own in the bed beside me, he wants to be on me or my dh at all times. We cant use dockatot at night as it's not safe. We're currently splitting the nights into two shifts but it's not sustainable especially with dh being back at work now.
Our older dd always slept well wherever we put her down so this is new territory for us.

Have you tried warming the cot before putting baby in, changing sleeping bags, swaddling? Unfortunately some babies are just like that. I had one like that and we just split the nights as best we could with DH sleeping the most as he had work and him getting up early and letting me sleep a few hours before he started work. It’s exhausting but doesn’t last forever.