Husband has no patience and a short temper

[VWd]

My husband has always had no patience in situations where things have gone wrong, bad traffic etc and I continually ask him to stop it when he erupts often over the most minor thing. I used to be able to just block it out although it has ruined a few nights out, holidays etc from him taking one of his strops over nothing. He’s not violent or anything, just shouts and goes on. Since having a child he’s been okay with the baby stage but our toddler is now nearly 3 and he just cannot cope with him at all. He is hard work and it’s very full on but I deal with it all week by myself. He’s particularly bad at getting clothes/jackets on and is really picky with who puts him to bed, who helps him etc (will have a few minutes of running away crying/lying on the floor if it’s not how he wants it). I’m very patient with him and he calms down quickly if you just stay calm. My husband will go into one of his own little tantrums at the same time saying I’ve to deal with him (despite having done it all week when he’s not there) 😑 He is constantly complaining about things but never doing anything to actively help sort them. I do all of the cleaning and laundry alongside working from home and it’s more hassle than it’s worth to get him to help with anything like that. He does his basic jobs like the bins. He constantly says the place is a state or he’s so miserable because of how awful our life is (usually to do with our child kicking off). We have a healthy toddler, who yes can be hard work at times but we’re so lucky 🤷🏻‍♀️

This morning it’s just hit breaking point. I can’t take his constant outbursts anymore (my husband’s that is)! Is there a way to ever get him to stop? I made him look into counselling or something for it once but he said he phoned the doctors and they told him it wasn’t something they could help with. I don’t want to split up with him and he is a good dad (when he’s calm) but I refuse to let my little boy grow up thinking that’s how you should behave 😞

Anti-depressants for the husband? Maybe he has a little post natal so is irritable?!

I have a different opinion than others and think people should just push through these years, so many recommendations on here to get divorced and leave at the first sign someone isnt doing 50% or theres a bit of an argument. Toddlers are hard, people often have them at the beginning of their marriage and they're still figuring eachother out. People have fond memories of their young children so all the happy people later in life will tell you their kids were angels and they dealt with it fine, but they weren't. That's just how our brains and memories work.

There are things you can do, you can make that doctors appointment for him if you think he has an issue that needs to be addressed like that. The fact you think he might need medication or counselling is a good indication that he might benefit from it.

If you split it (which is an option of course) then just realize your child will still grow up with it, splitting up doesn't mean he's no longer the father, but now you are introducing poverty, potentially new adults and safeguarding issues, a lifetime of anxiety for your child, etc, etc. It's crazy how people on this site carelessly throw it around anytime someone has the slightest criticism. It's a nuclear bomb as an option it's not something to casually throw around. It's last resort when every other option has been exhausted to fix the issue.

This.

Why are you still with this man OP?

Your child should not have to grow up around an immature bully ŵho can't control his emotions and be a decent father.

Instead you are enabling and excusing his behaviour. He is not depressed. He is just a bully...