dd age 3 - brill on potty since December - now back to 3-4 accidents a day - HELP

[pregnabrain]

Hello

dd is 3 this week. I potty trained her in December and she took to it straight away. She's been fine with both poos and wees for a good while.

Now, suddenly, it's all going pear-shaped. She's having sometimes three or four accidents a day (both poo and wee).

I've tried:

being calm (seething inside, of course)
being disappointed (bit of seething coming out!)
star chart (worked a treat with the original training)
constant reminders

Nothing's working

ps have checked uti possibility and that's not it.

She started nursery in Jan, and dc2 is due at the end of May, so I'm sure there may be emotional reasons why she's wanting to leap back into babyhood herself.

but, on a practical level, WHAT DO I DO???

I really sympathise, my dd was dry and then we had to go back to the UK, so she regressed and it took me 3 months to get her dry again. I decided that I was not going back to nappies for any reason, so I took her to the loo often (athough sometimes she would insist she didn't need to and then wet herself 5 minutes later), and frequent trips to the loo also meant that accidents weren't too big; kept a stack of knickers and trousers (thick so they soaked up the wee before it hit the carpet) and every evening I put all the knickers and trousers through a quick wash. I kept calm (mostly) and just didn't make a big deal of it, but said in passing Oh dear I thought you were big enough to wee on the loo, and changed pants.

Kids who are dry and then regress do it because it is emotional, it is their only way of expressing stress. Assuming nursery is also being calm and there are no issues there (is she scared of the loos for instance) then all you can do is persevere. She isn't doing it to annoy, she's just letting you know that she is noticing the changes. If you get her dry again, she may regress again in May when dc2 comes along.

Sorry, not much help, hang in there, it drove me MAD, but it does pass, eventually, and she's done it once so she can do it again.

Hello. I can understand your frustration. Have you ruled out any other medical reason, as this can sometimes be a cause as well as emotional? My sister's DD did this and it turned out that she had threadworms (one of the joys of her being a thumb sucker, apparently!)
I have heard of other older siblings regressing with the onset of a new baby, too. All of the strategies that you have employed seem good, especially the keeping calm one.
I hope that it works out for you soon, good luck with the baby and, as steppemum says, she will be able to do it again.

Come and join our "we thought we had going to the loo sussed but we were wrong" thread

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Awww. The idea of my little bubba being stressed is enough to reduce me to tears at the moment. Am so hormonal.

The doctor said I should come back if she's still doing it in two weeks' time in case it's a sign of diabetes. Bit worrying, but instinct tells me it's not that.

I will try to bite my lip when frustration gets the better of me and maintain a bright and breezy demeanour in the face of mountains of smelly washing!

Might try to really go for the treats thing again as well. She's got her eye on those weird dogs in boxes they advertise in the Milkshake ad breaks - they'd be perfect bribery material!

my dd has her eye on those, and those horrible dogs on a ball thing that seem to be made by the same people. Yuck.

Sign of diabetes - OMG - what a worry - I shall add that to my list of worries.

Hi

I know exactly how you feel, we also trained DD in Dec with no problems at at all. However - same as you - it all went very pear shaped! Touch wood we seem to have sorted it now. After trying everything else from bribery to getting cross, we brought the potty back into the living room. We had moved on to the toilet and she was quite happy but I think we may have got rid of it too early and she wasn't feeling quite secure enough. Although she's more than happy to use the toilet if we're out?!

Good luck, hang on in there - ours went on for about 6 weeks!

Oh pregnabrain, don't worry about you dd being stressed. I look at it a bit like this, she's noticing the changes, and as her Mum you are there to reassure her that change is OK and might even be fun.
Good idea of hellbells to get thread worms etc checked out, there might always be a physical cause. (though diabetes seems a bit extreme)

Oh thank goodness!! I am in a very similar boat with my ds and it is good to know (I mean this in a nice way) that I am not the only one going through this.

There are some obvious differences. 1. my ds will be 4 in June. 2. He was slow to train as it was and has only been reliably clean/dry for 3 or 4 months. 3. He isn't having poo accidents. 4. He has had 1 proven UTI as a baby and a couple more unproven, but not for at least 2 years.

My first instinct is that it could be a UTI and I am now kicking myself for not getting him in at the GP today. He started having accidents 10ish days ago. We thought nothing of it, calmly dealt with the mess, changed clothes ect. Then, last Saturday evening he complained of tummy ache and again, didn't think much of it, thought he might need a poo. In the end he was writhing on the floor in pain but had no temp. He settled with calpol and fell asleep, slept all night and was bright eyes and bushy tailed the next day. Sunday, he had 2 accidents. It suddenly occured to me that maybe it was a UTI, but I decided to play it by ear. The rest of the week was ok until today, which has resulted in 4 accidents and 2 inwardly seething parents.

Apart from the sudden accidents, there are no other signs of UTI, no pain that I can make out, no cloudy or offensive smelling urine, no blood, no temp and no general malaise, which is what makes me thing he has just regressed.

Suggestions as to how to deal with this, especially over Easter (our prime care is useless, won't touch ds2 because of his medical history, always try and send us to hospital) much appreciated.

ooh i suppose you should just try giving him loads of fluids (maybe with cranberry - I used to drink this to help with cystitis ) until you can get him checked out for UTI. Def worth seeing the doc if he's had one before, although weird that there are no obvious signs.

Is there any big change in his life at the moment that might be triggering the regression?

I can report two totally accident free days in a row! Hurrah. This has only been possible due to constant concentration from me and sometimes actually commanding dd to get on the potty and wee. It was her birthday yesterday and she got a new baby dolly. Interestingly, she (completely off her own bat) took the baby off to show her 'how to do a wee on the potty' twice today. Suddenly she's doing the big sister thing rather than being baby herself!!

Anyway, it's an improvement. But i'm sure not the end of the highly fragrant potty training road for us .