Unsettled baby

[Rose1999]

Please can I have some advice.

My 5 week old daughter cries whenever she’s put into her cot or basket. She’ll sleep in my arms, no problem, but whenever she’s put into her bed, she starts to cry and literally won’t stop until she’s cuddled. This happens all day and night. She must be absolutely exhausted - I know I am.

What am I doing wrong and what can I do?

Hello

We have several children all grown up and they were a dream to look after and only really cried when unwell

Our grandchildren, several of them were all like their parents.

When I used to read stories like yours I'd think, WTH, get on with it. THat is until we had our latest grandchild a few months back. Boy did he cry and cry and cry and worst of all cried even more at night time, We felt we'd spoilt him as myself, my OH, our son's MiL and some aunts all live within 15 mins walking distance had got our grandson spolit EG only sleep with cuddles.

It drove our DiL to exhaustion and our son had 4 weeks off to help but come work again, no one could sleep I the house properly - we were advised he'd grow our of it and low and behold, at around 12 weeks, it changed almost overnight, ie cried a lot less. We'd had our baby grandson checked out by docs/etc several times and apart from the common straightforward fixes there was nothing to worry about - Our son and DiL do say they are lucky to have us close by and we don't work as we sold our shop years ago and very early retired so have time on our hands

It's never wrong to seek medical advice from doc/hospital/midwife /clinic etc to ensure all is well and never hurts to ask immediate family/parents for help as it is hard and very tiring work bringing up a baby that cries at night and day and can drive anyone to despair - SO, please act

Re baby exhausted, its a vicious circle is what we found as the more bay cries the worse and worn out baby gets and cries even more - so get help as recommended by me and look after yourself so you can look after your baby.
Make sure your ferritin etc is all good

Btw - a good percentage of babies cry like yours but you need rest as well so ask your husband for more support as well as family and or as suggested above

Take care and good luck

My baby was like this til 5.5 weeks! I bought her a Tommy Tippee swaddle bag and she slept through the night after that with a dream feed in between. Have you tried swaddling?

Aw, she was only inside you 5 weeks ago, she wants to be close to you and smell you. It's really tough being shattered though. Co-sleeping can be done safely if you follow the Lullaby Trust safe co-sleeping guidance- worth looking into? I started at about that age and my sleep was immediately so much better. Plus made night feeds so much easier too.

Around that age we started using Love2Dream swaddle sleep bags and although DD was still up multiple times a night and needed cuddling to sleep, there was definitely an improvement

Only a hot water bottle in the bed before I laid them down settled my babies! Obs, take water bottle out when putting back in.

For my daughter it was due to severe silent reflux and food allergies reacting to foods in my diet.

40% of babies have reflux at some point during the first few months. For most it is managed behaviourally without medication by holding them upright and listening to their needs. Most babies out grow it during the first 3-5 months without intervention and just 10% have reflux by 1 year.

Hi I agree with a couple of posts here.

my LO was crying a lot the first few weeks and it turns out she had coloc and reflux from formula. I was trying to give one formula bottle a day at night to get her used to a bottle. Anyhow as a first time parent I didn’t know how much crying was normal but in the end realised something wasn’t right. So I then went to the drs and got baby gaviscon which helped and switched back to full time breast rather than messing around with formulas on her sensitive stomach as clearly wasn’t agreeing with her. So you could check she is fit and well with GP (my health visitors failed to diagnose).

She them went on to cry occasionally but nowhere near as bad and she wasn’t in pain but I found co sleeping has been ok. I was terrified to try it but I wear an extra layer and put her on a sleep bag and keep her on the side of bed with me with my arm around her and the next to me crib is there also but if she is in it she doesn’t settle as well or wakes up very quickly after falling asleep!
I know co sleeping isn’t what everyone wants and some are nervous to try but it’s built into us as mothers to wake up at the slightest stir (which I do!) . Obviously do not co creep if wanted to drink alcohol or take meds as it then becomes dangerous. Definitely check out the lullaby trust for info , you need to keep heavy duvet and pillow away from LO. I wear am extra top with open front to breast feed it means every gets sleep all round!! Mind I do sometimes wonder if I’m making a rod for my back and how the transition into cot at 6 months will go. My sister c slept with all 5 of hers successfully I used to think she was mad to try it for safety reasons but honestly it’s ok! I would like her on her own cot at 6 months as I would eventually like my bed back, my sister kept all of hers in bed until we were older so I do need some advice on this.

we really need sleep it’s torture without so what you need !

My DD is 12 months now but wow, reading your post brings those early days back! She would also only sleep when being held. Day time I used a sling, night times I did shifts with my partner. I'd also suggest looking up co sleeping guidelines just to make the sleeping space safer incase you do fall asleep with her accidentally, which is far more dangerous than planned co sleeping.

This was me up until about 3 weeks ago OP. My first slept independently immediately, second would only sleep if being held - very different.

First I'd try the love2dream swaddles which help with startle reflex, cheap on vinted.
Day time - sling and babywear.
Night time - try patting and sshhing, rocking to sleep then gradually putting down with white noise machine on, warmed up crib with hot water bottle and something that smells like you, but honestly? None of this worked for me with this baby and I co-slept for the first 2.5 months. I never said I'd co sleep but I was dangerously tired, I still didn't sleep well but it was an improvement.

Reattempted the next2me, with a purflo nest inside, yes they're against safe sleep guidelines but at some point you have to weigh up the equal risk that is a very sleep deprived parent falling asleep when feeding. Baby now sleeps alone in crib at 3 months. I'll be removing the purflo nest when baby is around 4 months.
I also used one of these with my daughter 5 years ago, and they weren't against safe sleep guidelines then.

My girl was the same and it was silent reflux you can buy some thickening granules from the pharmacy to sort that out and she’ll be happy lying down then. Good luck and hugs, i remember how hard that was with mine. X

Quite normal at this age but so hard. We got a love2dream swaddle up sleeping bag and he was like a different child.