Gp made me cry

[tralalalalalalalal]

I have told my dp and had a good cry to him as well but I need to get over this quickly because I need to look after my children.

It's easy to make me cry atm, I'm poorly, tired and awaiting an adhd assessment.

My son is 2yr 7m and not walking, only able to do a few steps. Have been trying to get some help since he was 22 months, but none has come. Waiting to see paediatrician through a child development centre- waiting list is 1 year. Saw the gp today, told her I'm concerned that not one person has physically examined my son for issues with his legs. She said it can't be a medical issue, the only medical issue she would be concerned about is if he had started walking then began to have trouble with it and stopped walking altogether, and even then you wouldn't see issues until around 8. She said it must be a developmental issue as he is delayed in other areas too (he's not saying sentences yet, but he says over 100 words).

I asked her what will happen if he starts school and can't walk (I know it's miles away but it feels like it's a possibility). She said 'well what would you want us to do?'. I said I'm not sure, I'm asking what would be the usual procedure. She said 'we take direction from the parents'. I felt like saying 'the parent is not the one that's medically trained'.

I said 'is there no conditions that would prevent a child walking from birth?' She said 'like what?' I said 'I don't know...was hoping you could tell me'.

Just at my wits end. Why was this doctor asking me as if I'm the one in the room with the medical training?

Anyone had a child not able to all on their own and it be due to a medical problem?

*not able to walk on their own

Hyper mobility can be a physical issue that means walking is later - does he have very flexible joints?

If you’ve already been referred and are on a waiting list I imagine she was asking in case there is something you’ve read about/were specifically concerned with. There really isn’t much a GP would be able to tell you I imagine.

I understand your frustration, and you just wanting somebody to reassure you or give you an answer, but a GP isn’t that person I’m afraid. .

Is a private initial consultation an option? It’s usually a couple of hundred £ (or was!) but after being seen, they may then switch you to their nhs list as you’ve already been seen.

I don't have any useful advice , OP, but wanted to say I empathise. This must be a huge concern for you.

I think maybe it is some training that GP's are having now, maybe it's about being 'patient led' or something. I've had similar where I've been asked 'What do you want from me today?' - if the tone is not quite right it comes across as confrontational, but I'm sure it's not intended to be.

Could you give your local health visiting service a call? Or even try a different GP? The GP should be able to signpost you to other services in the community, even if they really can't expedite a referral.

I've heard of this actually, just couldn't remember it in the spot in the appt. He is quite flexible, but I'm not sure if more than an average baby

Thank you for reply ♥️yes dp said this- it's not her area of expertise and that's why she had no info for me.

Dp has said today we can go private, it will be a struggle financially but he's said he will make it work, I feel lucky for that.

Would you be able to afford to consult a pediatric physio?

My DD is a doctor of physical therapy and she says intervention as early as possible with these kinds of issues is crucial.

I think it’s awful that nothing is being done for your LO.

Thank you for replying, and Yes exactly! It came across as very 'well I don't know, what the hell do you want me to do?! It's your problem, not mine'

Thank you, I know of a charity that does half price physio for disabled children. Was thinking of booking, I think I will now

Plenty of conditions. You need to see a physio. If he is delayed they should do genetic testing. Does he have signs of autism?

i have a child with a genetic disorder who is doing very well but didn’t walk until 2.5. I feeel really lucky we found out when I was pregnant as it meant I can arm myself when talking to awful doctors. You need to advocate for your child - ask your HV for routes into early intervention (self referrals, GP referrals) - there are usually loads because the system is so inefficient. Follow all of them up and keep badgering them. Crying on the phone also helps a lot in my experience! Sympathy.

Dr sounds like a total dick. My son didn't bear weight until 18months and was well over 2 before he took a step. Referred to physio who said he was fine. Eventually started walking but always been rubbish at physical stuff, turns out he has dyspraxia.

Ps if your child isn’t walking by the time they start school you will by that time have hopefully got an ehcp. And even if not the school will need to accommodate his needs. You’ll also almost certainly qualify for dla now if he’s not walking at this age. You can use the 270 a month or so for private therapy, and it opens other doors to services.

I'd want to rule out Cerebral Palsy and that should have been her first thought. It's not always identified early. She sounds like an idiot.

If it's any consolation we waited 3 years to see the paediatrician and they were that bad as well and I ended up crying in their office, they looked at me like I'd grown a second head. I would have thought it was a fairly common response to being told your very obviously disabled child is "normal" and that he can't have ASD because he's "a good boy". Especially given I'm ND and professionals falling back on dated stereotypes really bothers me.

Can you ask to see another GP or phone the line for the Health Visitor? There's also something called the Community Nursery Nurse in our area who the HV refer you to if you need help with a potentially disabled child.

It's absolutely astounding that he is over 2 and a half, not walking and they want you to wait another YEAR for somebody to look at him? I mean WTAF? How stretched are services that you are being given these crazy waiting times?

Some absolutely great info here, thanks so much guys.

I know. Cannot believe the state of this country at the minute. Every single person in our family (me, dp and 2 sons) has medical issues and we are bankrupting ourselves to go private for every single one of us because we haven't got a shred of help.

It's what the tories wanted I suppose

Poor you that was very bad of her and I can't believe he hasn't been seen by a paediatrician. Is there a physio service the HV can help you access till you see a paediatrician?

Could you not send message to your medical centre referring to this appointment with named doctor and say you want your child referred to a pediatrician asap and you meant to ask at the appointment. I don't see how they can refuse.

In my experience (with 3 kids), GPs know very little about anything medical and, as you have said, often want you to make the diagnosis for them

They can take blood pressure, dole out some antibiotics when the mood takes them and refer you to a specialist if they must but give very little value beyond that

Glad you are getting some good advice here and are able to pay to go private

That is a rubbish reaction. Look into your local paediatric physiotherapy and OT (occupational health) service. Ours is combined with Speech and language services and there is one helpline for all 3 services. Speak with you Health Visiting team and see if they have a specific person who can help if a child has SEN or developmental concerns? Our SEN HV supported us until our youngest turned 6 and helped advocate and arrange referrals to more specialist teams. I would also try a different GP... are there any who have paediatrics as a speciality or interest? You could also ask to speak with the Carers Champion (every gp surgery should have one) and tell them of the strain you are feeling, how upset the GPs guidance made you and guidance on how to get better support for both you and your child. 💐

In our county you can self refer for physio. Then someone from the physio team will call you and discuss your issue and decide if they can help. You don't need a referral.
It may be worth seeing if you can do this in your area.

In my experience (with 3 kids), GPs know very little about anything medical and, as you have said, often want you to make the diagnosis for them

They can take blood pressure, dole out some antibiotics when the mood takes them and refer you to a specialist if they must but give very little value beyond that

Glad you are getting some good advice here and are able to pay to go private

My GP is told me categorically that there was nothing in my milk that my daughter could react to because if she was reacting to my milk she would need to be in hospital.
3 months later when I had identified about 7 food allergies and most of the screaming had stopped she praised me for "figuring it out without help". She now has 20 food allergies. This GP also told me my daughters silent reflux (urgo no sick) was a "washing" problem and was undertreating her reflux and gave incorrect advice about multiple reflux meds. Thankfully for and I do truly mean thankfully my daughter had a reaction to her 4 month vaccines and ended up being sent to paeds and the paediatrician we saw there took her on as a patient for her reflux.

Sorry I can't help with the walking but I just wanted to add solidarity about how unhelpful and wrong some GPs can be. We very rarely go to the GPs now nearly everything gets ferried through the paediatricians. It's just hard to get that initial appointment!

Personally I would be up at A&E and demanding bloods and strength tests etc.

There's a woman whose daughter was crawling, barely stood and was dismissed by health visiting and GP like you.

Her daughter had a brain tumour.

That's so weird, with my first son I had the exact same experience and I had diagnose his allergies on my own by eliminating things from his diet. Only now he's 4 are we getting blood tests to confirm what I found... disgusting