3 year old won’t play alone

[Asurpriseawaits]

Am at my wits end with my 3.5 year old who cannot play or be by herself. I can’t get anything done as she follows me everywhere- and I have a 3 month old and looking after them both feels impossible. I try and set up games / play for her and try to give her as much attention as I can but I need herto give me 10 minutes sometimes and she just doesn’t seem to know how to play - especially when I compare her with her peers. Not only this but she often refuses to leave the house - did not want to battle both her and the ice to get the toddler club today so we have been in all day and I have just really shouted at her. Any tips?

Does she go to nursery? If they don’t have any concerns it’s probably more about the new baby and wanting to make sure she still has your attention. Have you tried arty stuff? Some kids don’t like small world imaginative play but will go in for arts and crafts. Would she paint if you set it up, or do a colouring book, one of those sticker activity books on her own especially if you praise her efforts? Also, you could try telling her you can play in 10 minutes after you’ve finished a specific task (cleaning the kitchen, folding laundry, anything really) and that more she interrupts the long it will take as you need 10 minutes uninterrupted to finish whatever it is. Then obviously give her lots of 1:1 attention when the baby is napping, or being looked after by Dad.

Seems to be pretty normal behaviour in response to a new sibling ime. You just have to give her attention during nap times when you are able, get as much support from your DP or other family when you can, or last resort settle for lots of screen time. If you can find a quiet toddler class that's ideal - we found one which seemed to have very few regular attendees so she'd have almost one to one attention from the teacher

I feel your pain Op. My DS (almost 4) was exactly the same, and he is an only child so I can’t even give the reason of he wants more attention from me because of another sibling. I put it down to being a covid baby and having had me and DH constantly throughout covid. What I found worked well was starting with small increments of time. At first it was just give me 10 mins because I need to tidy up after your lunch, but whilst you wait, here is something you can do. At first he would just wait for me to finish, but soon realised that time went quicker if he did said activity. I would also say things like, if you do X by yourself whilst I do Y, then we can do Z together afterwards. It’s give them a set expectation and timeframe. I have slowly managed to extend this time and he is slowly getting better at playing by himself. He still has days that he doesn’t want to though. But I will take anything to have a cup of tea is peace once in a while