I have covid; should I isolate from my toddler?

[RFM10]

I've tested positive for covid and feel really ill. Thankfully my DH and DD don't have it yet and obviously I really don't want them to catch it. We decided that I'd isolate myself at home and my DH is doing all the nursery pick ups, dinner, bath and bed. This is the second night of doing it and obviously it's really hard as my DD wants to see me (and I want to see her). If she was older, I'd see her from the other side of the room with windows open and face masks on, but she's only 2 and a half and I know if she saw me she'd run up and want a cuddle and get really upset if I didn't cuddle her. So instead DH is telling her that mummy is a bit poorly so she can't see me right now but I'll be better soon. I'm talking to her on videocall over dinner and at bath time which is lovely but she's then getting upset when he puts her to bed saying she wants a kiss from mummy. It's breaking my heart. Am I doing the right thing? I really don't want her to feel as awful and ill as I do right now. But I also don't want to cause her loads of upset and worry by not seeing her.

If it was 2020 I'd know what to do! I've not had to think about covid recently so didn't know what the best thing to do was anymore.

I had covid just after Christmas. I tried to stay away from my DH and DC when in the same room - I didn’t kiss them, but I sat in the same room and things. None of them ever tested positive (we tested regularly due to vulnerable family member).

Hope you feel better soon.

But the guidance in 2020 was based on it being a new disease that we didn't know much about. It's 4 years on! Surely you have read enough to make your own decision without having to check with public health England?

I think you’ve done the right thing seeing as she’s vulnerable. A few days whilst you are Uber infectious is sensible. Use the first defence spray, keep windows open, gargle some mouthwash and then give her a hug.

If she develops issues down the line then you won’t kick yourself for not holding out one day. There is a difference to being exposed to kids who are well enough to be in nursery and someone who’s viral load is a lot higher and too ill to look after them.

I think you need to ask yourself why you come on these forums. Is it to offer support to other parents, or is it to criticise and attack others when they are feeling unsure and looking for advice, in order to feel better about yourself? If the latter, perhaps stay away. I might have made the wrong call here but I've done so from a place of love and I'm doing my absolute best. Don't be unkind.

If she has respiratory vulnerability I totally understand why you have done it. There is no right or wrong. The posters being unpleasant have their own issues, don't pay any heed to that.

Personally I’d wear a mask and change it regularly and do extra handwashing. I think that’s sensible with any respiratory illness. But I’m a single mum with no family support so other than that I would have to get on with it!

I always think that because you can’t control other people around you - on buses and at schools etc- that there’s no point worrying too much. And it’s a strange illness anyway. I’ve had it three times confirmed and my children didn’t catch it from me. Hope you’re feeling better soon

@RFM10

I totally get it - a respiratory virus that wouldn't bother most children can make a child with respiratory vulnerabilities feel really unwell.

My DC has a vulnerability to respiratory issues and relatively minor viruses can cause us to end up at A+E or OOH with difficult symptoms.

DH and I work in fields where we come across COVID and other respiratory viruses a lot. In your situation, I'd probably use a mask and really good hand hygiene, but not isolate away from DC.

Dh and I have had covid three times and have never isolated from dc. If they did catch it at all, it was nothing more than a sniffle. You will have been hugging and kissing her before you knew you were ill so she and your dh will most likely have been exposed. Avoiding kisses and regular handwashing is sensible but isolating from a very young child who doesn't understand for what is very likely to be a mild illness for them doesn't seem proportionate.

Editing as missed that she is vulnerable. Definitely makes it more difficult but I still don't think I could avoid all contact. It will be extra hard when she knows you are around in the house. Hope you feel better soon.

When I had it, I decided that the psychological harm to my DD of being isolated from me was greater than any risk from covid. Since very few people are testing now, she's likely to be exposed to it everywhere anyway.

We all got it in autumn. The toddler actually brought it into the house but we didn't know. She had a slight fever and a bit under the weather Monday/Tuesday. Between Wednesday and Thursday all 4 adults in the house contracted it. We tested on Thursday and found out it was COVID and she was sent home from nursery ill. My FIL got it and he has lung damage from a blood clot and severe asthma and his lungs coped surprisingly well. My daughter had a few hours on the sofa here and then but still managed quite a bit of playing

I don't think anyone ever wants to willingly give a toddler a bug sure there's some time not a lot of choice in that. I understand the concerns given the history. We do a lot to try to reduce my FILs exposure to coughs and colds and I had 2 grandparents with COPD who we sheltered from all through COVID. My mum was their carer and even though they have both passed my first thought when I get a cold is I'm must protect them. It's hard to shake off.

That said isolating from your little one isn't likely to be in their best interests but sensible adjustments in the home can be made. Get your partner to give the house a good wipe down with hot and soapy water. All the door handles and stair banisters as well has hard objects that you touch a lot like remote controls. Then practice good hand hygiene avoid touching door handles if you have just coughed or sneezed. Sneeze into the crook of your elbow. That sort of thing to reduce the moving the viral particles from you to your hands to her hands to her.

You must have been interacting with her before you tested positive, so if she was going to catch it, she will already have taken in enough germs. Separating yourself from her will only upset her. She won't understand why you can't cuddle her.

No! Stop testing, and get on with your life as normal. This is absolutely not a big deal.

Personally I'd be avoiding contact with DH as much as possible to try and ensure at least one of us isn't really poorly at the same time, but no way would I isolate totally from my child (and they have asthma so more vulnerable); especially if they're off at nursery anyway at which there will absolutely be a tonne of really disgusting illnesses about. Its personal choice at the end of the day, but a day is a long time to a toddler and they don't have the same level of understanding as we do as adults- unless it was a real danger to them I wouldn't put them through it.

I didn’t isolate from my 3 children when I had Covid. The older 2 (4 and 3) had a slight sniffly nose and the baby (6 months) had no symptoms. I tested them all out of interest and they were all positive. I wouldn’t have even noticed them as having a cold if I’d not been positive myself.

Completely anecdotal, but my extremely prem dd with life long respiratory issues has never tested positive for covid, despite being in a large primary then even larger secondary school since 2020. Me and dp have had it at least 4 times and each time we caught it off each other. We are vaccinated, she isn't (her choice) so no protection there.

This is madness with masks and isolating. Give the poor wee thing a cuddle.

I had covid in December and I didn't isolate from anyone in my household, chances are one of them gave it to me anyway as I was one of the last in the house to be ill over the previous weeks. DS went to nursery as usual.