Absent father wants back in DS's life

[Kayx28]

Hey ladies just need abit of advice, so basically my 3 Yr old DS's dad left just after he was 1 because of his mental health which it was quite bad at the time he's since got help and is better now he wants to be apart of our lives again. He feels like he'll be a better father&boyfriend. Part of me wants him too because I do miss him and so does my son plus I want my son to have his dad in his life but the other part of me doesn't because what if it happens again and he leaves again? My son will be older then and will know what's happening and it'd break his heart if he left and didn't come back. He's such a very happy little boy I dont want anything to upset him. I'm just really torn on what to do and what the right thing to do is. Any advice would be appreciated.

Depends on the MH crisis and whether it is likely to repeat.

You can't keep your DS cut off from his father because his DDad might have a mental health relapse

The right thing to do would be to reintroduce contact, starting gradually ans slowly building up.

I am a little concerned about what you mean when you say you "miss" him. Being pleased that he has recovered his health is one thing. Hoping for him to re-enter any relationship with you other than amicable co-parenting strikes me as very wrong.

I would not be in a rush to date him again - and indeed would consider having someone else do handovers/stay with DS during the first contact visits.

The relationship with his DS needs, I think, to be separate to the one with you, and for your DS's sake I would get that well established before even beginning to think about dating him again. Because if you/he split up again, it needs to be as easy as possible to switch to the separate co-parenting mode.