Parenting burnout

[143jane]

I feel awfully burnout from being a parent to my 5 year old daughter. She is a very sweet but sensitive creature and it takes a lot of effort for both me and my partner to parent her at this stage. On the weekends I expect him to help me with everything, as I’ve been the primary caregiver to our child since birth. He’s getting tired of spending his weekends doing errands and looking after the child. I am only 32 and I feel like I am “wasting” my life on long afternoons of continuously caring, cleaning, cooking and putting to bed my daughter. I don’t want to spend the rest of my 30s like this. She’s is not very independent (ok, maybe our fault) but I just don’t know how we can all be happy, it’s killing me and it is by far less fulfilling that I had expected (being a mother).

I agree, it’s very hard, but it’s what being a parent is. Can you get a babysitter/family to help at all every so often?

Do you both work and is she at school? Are you depressed?

If you’re both struggling, even if you’re not, you should each get time off at the weekend, a lie in each or an afternoon doing your own thing. Do you ever have fun together as a family?

“The child” is pretty cold. Choosing to have a child comes with a certain amount of cooking, cleaning, entertaining them, that’s not a shock.

32 is a perfectly normal age to be a mum.

You will inevitably spend your 30s looking after her unless you divorce and become the non resident parent. Though it doesn’t sound like he would want her either.

What advice do you want? If you have a child you have to look after them. They didn’t ask to be born. If you’re finding it harder than you expected then fill the rest of your life with things that make you happy and make sure you’re each getting a break from parenting.

You’re not alone, parenting isn’t what everyone expects but I don’t know what anyone can say that’ll help.

I think we need a bit more information to be able to give (hopefully!) helpful advice. In what ways is your daughter sensitive, what is it that's requiring a lot of effort when it comes to parenting her? When you say 'not very independent', what things are you thinking of? Practically things like getting dressed or things like playing independently?

What does a rough weekly schedule look like for each of you? I agree with @AnneLovesGilbert , in general, you both should get a roughly equal amount of 'you' time.