14mo bedtime what am I doing wrong

[Emma543]

Hi all,
just after a bit of help, just before Xmas my 14 month old stopped going to sleep and was waking up in the middle of the night and wouldn’t go back down.. she then dropped to one nap during the day.
Always had the same bath book bottle bed routine for months and since about 5 months old would be put straight into the cot at bedtime and get herself to sleep. Since last month and dropping her nap she has become absolutely awful at bedtime.

she screams if you put her down or leave the room but then starts laughing when you go back in - doesn’t settle if you just leave her. I’m spending over an hour at night trying to rock etc while she hits me in the face / pulls my hair / laughs / bouncing up and down (all whilst yawning and pulling her ears)
ive been trying to get her to bed since 7pm this evening and I’m really at the end of my limit.

ive tried giving her two naps still incase she’s over tired, changing the time of her naps, bedtime later, bedtime earlier nothing changes it.

what am I doing wrong?? My partner works away every other week so I’m on my own and just dread bedtime so much now

thankyou

You say nothing has changed… but she is getting older and so her needs will change. I found at that age it wasn’t about the number of naps, but all down to the time of the nap. When is she waking from final nap?

I agree with pp to check nap times and also be sure that she's going to bed before she's over tired as well.

I wouldn't be sitting with her if she's going to be hitting you in the face and pulling your hair. I'd be tempted to leave her after making sure nap times, bed time etc is appropriate since she isn't settling with you anyway and it my actually be making her more wound up instead of winding down.

I've always stayed with mine until they're asleep. Something is making her distressed and she doesn't know how else to show that. I'd work on seeing how you can help her feel safe and calm before bed so she falls asleep with you there. She's so little, I really wouldn't focus on self settling as the goal.

Wake windows can be useful but cues are more helpful for me. Is she getting enough to eat, seeming tired and having a good wind down period before you want her to sleep?

She naps from around 11.45 till 2. Try to get her back down around 7pm but will often base it on if she looks tired etc.
she has tea around 5pm and then back to playing for a while before we start wind down and bed routine.
i know what you mean about leaving her but I’m just not comfortable leaving her to scream as she makes herself sick 😞

Sitting with her will make it worse in the long run for both of you as she will grow to expect it. I would only do this if you can commit to continuing it. I found with my toddlers that at 14 months they were still on two naps per day before dropping to one solid nap much nearer 2years. Not sure if that helps you at all, but try one mid to late morning and one hour mid afternoon, perhaps she is over tired ?