Childminders at playgroup

[gentlemum]

I've been going to a playgroup with my toddler for a while and there's usually several childminders there each with about 3 children on average. They are hardly ever anywhere near the children they're looking after, they don't play with them or give them any attention. I frequently see them get hurt in some way through tripping or another child scratches them or similar and they're crying and people around have to say who is this child with, and they eventually come and get them. The childminders mostly just sit and drink coffee, chat to each other, and occasionally come over to take a photo to show the parents who I guess are none the wiser to them being so unsupervised. Is this typical of childminders? My family provide childcare currently but we will soon need to consider other care and I was keen on childminders over nursery but this behaviour is really putting me off. Keen to hear other people's opinions!

I would hope it's not typical. I was a childminder and helicopter-ed way more as a childminder than I did as a mum. I never sat back with a coffee. There was one childminder I saw who did but the others were like me and sat with their charges.

There's one childminder at my group and you can't tell her apart from the other carers. The couple of children she has with her have branded t shirts on that's the only way I can tell she is a childminder

I'm a childminder and they are all currently napping. It's the first time I've sat down (playing on the playmat aside) or had a drink since 7:30.

I'm afraid I've been appalled at some of the childminders in my town. I have looked after my grandchildren a couple of days a week for a few years now and take them to various playgroups and activities. There is a group of about five or six childminders who hang out together, ignore the children and barely notice the children's behaviour or accidents. Now and again they run around taking photos on their phone to send to the parents and make it look like they are engaged. I have one friend who is a childminder who is amazing so I see the difference. I hope this group are the exception, but I don't know how you can be sure (unless you spy on them first!!)

I wouldn’t use a childminder with any of mine. There’s not enough accountability. At least in nursery it’s more obvious if someone isn’t doing their job properly. Although admittedly nursery comes with its own set of problems. Rock and a hard place really.

Yep- I've seen this a lot where I am. It's what put me off using childminders and going for nursery instead.

There was one toddler group in my area that was notorious for this. I think childminders from all around came there to get together and moan about being a childminder. I only went once. I do think it varies though, best way to find a good one is word of mouth. The ones who behave as you describe will be known for it locally.

There was a childminder at a stay and play I went to at the local church during the holidays and she was hopeless.... she had about 6/7 kids with her of all different ages and they were all completely left to it, one kept attacking other kids and she was oblivious.... she also didn't do anything when children she was minding completely disrupted the story time at the end. Put me off going back to be honest.

Depends on the minder. I'm a stay at home mum and done the rounds of playgroups and school gates so have seen lots of minders at work....some are fantastic and some are just looking at their phones. You could try getting a recommendation. And sometimes if you know someone with a good minder that minder might have a network of childminders to tap into....my experience of asking the really good minders if they can recommend babysitters etc for me is that they will only recommend someone who is also good....

I think the truth is somewhere in the middle. These threads always see childminders (and parents who use childminders) scrambling to insist that it's an anomaly, vanishingly rare, most childminders aren't like that - but too many of us have seen exactly this sort of conduct from groups of childminders for that to be the case. In my area several groups have banned childminders because of this behaviour; it ruins the environment for others.

I think there are fantastic childminders out there, of course there are, but there is a widespread problem with poor, disengaged caregivers in all types of settings. Many nurseries are also covering up shoddy, lazy practices with shiny photo ops and lying to parents. It's a major problem, and it really isn't possible to know for sure whether your child's carer or setting is really one of the good ones or not.

The trouble is that, understandably, trying to have a discussion about this upsets parents who desperately need to believe that their childcare is excellent. They should be able to rely on it and not feel guilty for using it! The answer is for childcare not to be so egregiously underpaid and undervalued. We need a proper national childcare strategy which confronts the issues honestly and provides decent regulation, training and resourcing to change the culture - but we're unlikely to see that under current political conditions.

I take my daughter to a playgroup and there’s a few childminders who regularly attend and it seems really similar, the poor kids are left pretty much unsupervised, it was one of the reasons I was put off using a childminder, though I’m sure they’re not all like that.

I suppose we only notice the ones who are ignoring their charges, the good ones we presume are their mum/grandma.

You only got a snapshot. You don't what they were like the rest of the day/week. All kids fall over and cry.

I've only ever positive experiences from childminder. I'm in total admiration of what they do, the hours they work for a low wage and very few breaks. You're not paying for a premium Norland Nanny 1:1 service! Normal parents would stop and have a coffee and a chat just like childminders can.

I've seen this a lot too at the park and would only ever go for a nursery for my DC. I feel like a nanny or childminder is sort of meant to resemble a mum but generally just doesn't care in the same way to achieve that. Nursery at least is something totally different - more about playing with other children and learning to do more structured activities.

It's like anything, you get good ones and bad ones.

But yes, I have seen the type you are talking about.

If you will be using a childminder....visit one of the playgroups they attend so you can see for yourself.

I’ve been doing childcare for a long time and I’ve seen it all. Disengaged parents, grandparents, nannies and childminders and brilliant parents, grandparents, nannies and childminders. You can’t generalize that one group is useless and another is great because the whole lot have bad and good.

I think there are childminders and there are childminders. I think there are people who take it seriously as a professional endeavour and put their heart and soul into it. And there are others who see it as an 'easy' way to avoid having to pay for childcare for their own children and spend a lot of time sitting around and having biscuits. There was a childminder who collected from our old primary school (her dc was also a student there, so she'd collect a couple from school for after school care). She was always shouting and trying to herd them up the street and seemed completely out of control and overwhelmed at all times. From my observations at the school gates, I suspect she did a lot of chatting and eating biscuits and not a lot of looking after the children.

It's not the point of the thread, but one of the reasons we didn't use a childminder was because I didn't like the idea of my dc being out who knows where in case of an emergency. Our nursery was lovely and also 5 minutes from home. A childminder, if they went out to any groups, would have been at least 20 minutes away, and I didn't like the idea of having to track my child down or not actually knowing where they were all day, especially if not sufficiently supervised in a public space. It just wasn't for me.

The flip side is that nurseries have a stereotype of being impersonal, and we definitely viewed one that was exactly that - impersonal, corporate, cold. I cried as soon as I made it back out to the car park after the tour. But we chose a lovely small family run nursery, on a farm, forest school, lots of child-led activities, really warm and caring, and it was wonderful.

I've seen some of this, but I've also seen amazing childminder in action. One of them I saw at all the playgroups and when we needed a childminder, she was the first person we called! But I know it does happen. It's a bit crap but I'm sure there are equally crap parents doing the same thing

I think it is fairly typical I’m afraid. It’s certainly been my experience and that (along with some other things) mean I wouldn’t use a childminder.

The level of supervision needed will depend on the individual children in general under 2s need more close contact then 3 and 4 year olds. Part of the purpose of attending a group is to give older children a chance to separate from you being more independent and self reliant sorting out minor problems like turn taking etc ....in school nursery there are 4 adults to 40 children so an adult isn't on top of every child ...so this is no different. For the rest of the week the children are very closely supervised and working on skills like cutting, puzzles, maths and messy play etc. For most parents the opposite groups are a chance to do messy play and be with the children ...with many stepping in early avoiding children trying their own skills.
Obviously under 2s need a lot more support.
In a nursery support is given in the focus areas but children are not followed around with an adult interfering in every squabble. The EYFS focuses on independence skills including problem solving, conflict resolution and seeking out an adult when support is needed not having one leaping in before a child has decided they need help.

I'm not going to lump all childminders together. But in my experience, when I had problems with my childminder, there's no middle man. Your raising issues directly with them, there's no middle man. So if, like I did, a friend reports back on they had seen with my son, that gets very uncomfortable.

Nursery and childminder work to the same standards and towards the same goals so should be similar in the way things are delivered.

I went to a toddler group with my toddler and baby while on mat leave, and this EXACTLY describes what I saw!
There were 3/4 childminders who would just sit and chat and their kids would roam about. Once one of them left one in the pram over by the door of the hall "because he was tired" and the poor kid was crying his eyes out and she didn't even notice until someone pointed it out!
I've also picked up a little girl who'd got stuck in/under one of those big plastic cars, and had to ask who she was with!
Mine go to nursery which has its flaws but seemed the far better option to us!

Oooo we haven't had a childminder bashing thread in at least a week....thanks OP!

There are huge amounts of CMs which don't frequent these public playgroups. They are at home providing high quality care and activites or out in the woods teaching the children about the world around them...

I've worked in nurseries and it's exactly like you've described this playgroup to be... awful! I became a cm to get away from the toxic behaviour and work culture.

I love my job, I don't do it to get free childcare (mine are teens) it's a career choice I've made due to loving early years. I don't do school runs. I teach, love, sing, dance, cuddle and help raise these little ones with the passion I did for my own children.

It's so sad that people have to tar all those doing the same job as crap!

We used to go to a group that was ostensibly for 0-5 but really the optimum age was 2-3. Childminders used to come with children all different ages and it really spoiled the group a bit, because the older ones were too old and used to be quite domineering and bossy with the little ones, and then some were too young and probably would have enjoyed it with adult input but were just left to toddle around alone