Does my child not like me?

[Rellencoe]

So I have been having struggles with my little boy who is 6 turning 7 soon, and myself and his dad haven't been together for the last 4 years we broke up when he was 3.

Anyway the last year my little boy has been saying he wants to just live with his dad and not me he sees his dad every weekend, and bedtime is the worst he will cry for him but I need to add when he is at his dad's he sleeps in his dad's bed I don't do that with him.
Last night was quite bad and I have some other things going on in my life and I felt last night I couldn't handle it and I called his dad for my boy to speak to and he was crying saying he wanted to go back to his house in thr end I just said just come and get him he obviously doesn't want to be here, and he did come and get him, when I ask my little boy what is it that makes you want to be at daddy's so much and not here with me he says he doesn't know he just misses him so much.
I feel broken like I'm not good enough and I wish I didn't call his dad last night, and I just dealt with it I've been up all night crying and just want some advice please x

When have you planned to see him again, if he’s hoping to stay there for a while the reality of permanent daddy will be very different to Disney weekend daddy.

sending hugs

That's really tough on you. I had a similar situation, though there weren't actual tears.
I spent a long time making his room exactly as he wanted it, LED lights, he chose his bedding etc. next time don't call his dad, lots of cuddles and reassurance instead. It will get better

Don’t call dad next time, or he will keep playing up. Just be firm but kind, you see dad at the weekend, end of.

At bedtime, your ds is tired and probably doesn't know what is making him feel overwhelmed. If he stays at your ex' house he'll cry for you. It isn't a preference, he's just tired and using the only words he knows.

Just make sure, when he is back, he has lots of cuddles and a bedtime story. That he knows when he is next going to see his daddy, and what nice things tomorrow will bring.

You're doing fine. It sounds like you are tired too.

Don't send him away like that. That rejection will only harm him. He loves his dad, hence why he misses him. It's only because he doesn't get to be with him like he is with you that he gets upset. It has nothing to do with him not liking you.

I didn't just send him away, he was basically begging his dad to come and pick him up and I also have something else going on in my personal life and it all got to much, in hindsight I shouldn't have called his dad I have never done that before.

Thank you, I am picking him from school today, and yes like you said it will be alot different if he went and lived with his dad full time as he would have to do all the "boring school stuff and routine" That he doesn't have to do when he has him at the weekends. Thank you for your message

Can you change the contact so that you both have some weekday time with him and some weekend time? If he spends all weekend at his dad’s then maybe he is also crying for the weekend etc. You miss out on seeing him on all the non-school days.

what if you did Wednesday to Friday every week and every other weekend, and his dad had him Monday to wed (before school) plus every other weekend?

Yeah that's exactly what I have done made his room cosy with lights and bought him a yoto player which plays story's and we read story's in his room before bed and I lay and have cuddles with him so it's just so hard to always hear he misses his dad when all I can see as to why that would be is because he gets to sleep in his dad's bed, I'm not saying he doesn't miss his dad but it's everytime at bedtime

Why does he share a bed with his dad? I'm not saying he shouldn't, but is it out of necessity? Could his dad get him his own bed there?

He sleeps with his dad because it is easier for his dad he has his own room there but let's him sleep in his own bed because I'm guessing he can't be bothered with the stress of trying to get him to sleep in his own room

How was he tonight?