DD will only go to sleep for me!

[Starrysky812]

DD is 13 months, EBF and we've never left her to go out. I still feed her off to sleep at night - have never mastered the whole putting her down sleepy but awake thing. She just would cry and I don't want to do cry it out, especially when she's still so young. She's not a great sleeper and wakes multiple times overnight, always looking for breast. Occasionally I am tied up when she wakens (for example in the shower) and DH goes to try and settle her. She will cry and cry until I am able to go to her.

DH and I are keen to explore how he could get more involved in putting her down at bedtime and settling her overnight. Does anyone have any similar experiences and advice about how your baby accepted more daddy input at night? 🙏❤️

Hello! My DD (currently 16 months) was the same. My partner started putting her down for naps in the day first, which she didn’t love but got used to fairly quickly. That gave us confidence to try night weaning which we did at 14 months. We had him go in every time she stirred in the night and within a week she started sleeping through. I would never have believed it as I had been having a very similar experience to you.

I was terrified of her crying, which she did, but it reached a point where my exhaustion was debilitating. I still feed her to sleep but she will now accept him if I am not here.

I think a little ‘friction’ is to be expected if she is used to you. In my experience she was angry not upset which we found easier. I had to just accept that it might not be as smooth and gentle a put down as me feeding her to sleep but it would happen. I totally get you in the bit wanting to cry thing, it’s such a personal thing but they do get it quickly at this age I think.

My son is 3 years old and it's the same for us 😂 it'll take them time to adjust and what's familiar would always be a better option until something else becomes familiar..

Thank you both for the comment!

@Wirelessbird
How did your DH manage to get your DD down for a nap without feeding her?

He just came up with his own little routine. I spent a lot of time stressing about bottles (she never took to it ) thinking she would need the milk to fall asleep but she didn’t. I guess if it was a regular thing maybe that’s worth thinking about, but since I go out maybe once a month I just feed her earlier and then he repeats what he does at nap time.

He is always very involved in the night time routine, does bed and storyline anyway, then he just rocks her a little bit and says a phrase.

Honestly I never thought she would settle without me but if you just start introducing him more at both bed and nap time. Then maybe let him do naps for a bit. Once you’re comfortable you can let him do bedtime.

she will most likely resist a bit but it is very exhausting being the only one who can settle her so my take is that it’s worth it. She will begin to associate him with bed time. My partner gets her down easier than me now because she knows no milk is coming so just falls asleep. It’s perseverance more than anything j think and at this age they can miss a feed here and there and it won’t effect your supply xx

Super helpful thank you @Wirelessbird xx