My OH is lovely so I don't want LTB comments.
My daughter is 4.5 and IMO pretty normal but with a 'type a' personality. She's very extroverted, strong-willed, smart, kind, and lovely. The school think she's great. She is definitely within the bounds of a 'normal' 4 yo kid but possibly more on the challenging end of the spectrum.
The problem: OH cannot get her to do anything. On his watch, everything is a huge battle (getting dressed, eating, leaving the house, going to extracurricular activities). He doesn't seem to get that he's winding her up or not showing her enough love and kindness.
I constantly manage 'the situation' when we're both in the house. I try to leave them to it but always end up stepping in when we are inevitably running late or she's in floods of tears etc.
He just doesn't seem to know how to pick his battles and doesn't, for a better phrase, demonstrate 'leadership' skills, so she just walks all over him. Following the advice of my therapist, I try to leave them alone together as much as is reasonably possible so he can develop his relationship with her and his ways of doing things. I think this does work a bit, but we are a family and need to be together most of the time.
Whenever I bring this up with him, he gets very upset and/or defensive and tends to blame my daughter rather than realise it's his (lack of) parenting.
How can I move forward with this situation? Has anyone experienced similar? It's driving me slightly mad!