4.5 year old contradicts everything!

[CrispsandCheeseSandwich]

DD1 (4.5) is so unbelievably contrary all the time. She contradicts everything we say, even when it's demonstrably true, or even nothing to do with her. She's not getting it wrong or making a mistake, she knows, and yet still often accompanies this with a stomp of her feet or some attitude.

Eg
I'm serving up fish pie for dinner
DD1 "what's for dinner?"
Me "fish pie"
DD1 "no it isn't"

Getting ready to go out
Me "right, are we ready to go"
DH "yep, the girls have got their shoes on"
DD1 "no I haven't"

DH opening a book to read to DD2 (18 months) while DD is doing something else in the same room
DH "whoops, this book is upside down"
DD1 "no it isn't" (it was, plus DD1 couldn't even see it)

Me talking to DH
Me "DH, when you go to the shops tomorrow, can you get some potatoes, i've just used the last of them"
DD1 "no you haven't"

Is this a typical phase? It's all day, we can't make any statement without a "no it isn't" from DD1. It's so annoying! Should we just ignore? Correct her (even though she often knows what she's saying isn't true)?

I think it's a fairly normal developmental thing, like a control testing exercise perhaps? I don't obviously know what I'm talking about from a professional standpoint, but DD1 was like this. Still is on a much smaller scale.

She would argue black was white at that age. Now it's not as often but more intense. She was struggling with maths so I was helping her, but she didn't believe anything I was telling her. I don't know anything because I'm not a teacher. Same with spellings, I suggested she wrote them 3-4 times down the page, thinking that repetition would help. No no no... her teacher didn't tell them to do it and I'm not a teacher so how would I know... 🙄 pretty sure I can spell at an average adult level, I can certainly spell at a year 3 level 😂

We used to just ignore it with dd1. We tried explaining why she was wrong but quickly learnt that just escalated into her arguing. We ignored and re directed with another question or by asking her to help with something. I'm not entirely sure that dd1 wasn't seeking our attention or connection?

I think this is fairly typical to some extent. Sounds as if she's being particularly full-on with it though! It sounds to me as if it might be a way of getting a conversation going. Do you ever play along with it? Maybe, if you find a fun way to engage with it, she might not do it so relentlessly - or, it turns into a game rather than being confrontational?

Do you ever play along with it?

I hadn't thought of that but it sounds like a good idea, I'll give it a go!

It's particularly annoying when it comes to DD2, who is really only just starting to speak. And I don't want DD1 constantly saying she's wrong every time she opens her mouth. Eg I ask DD2 something, she says "yeh", DD1 says "no it isn't". I think that's going to be confusing for DD2, and also the cause of arguments if it continues as DD2 gets older.

She doesn't do any of this at school, she is of course perfectly happy to accept the teacher telling her 2+2=4 🙄 I suppose it's better this way round though!

Yes mine was like this. It drove me round the bend. Worse still, in most cases, what he was saying was just a load of bollocks and totally wrong. He would also just be contrary for the sake of it. Or at least it felt that way! I'm not sure there was actually any malicious intent on his part but incredibly irritating all the same!!

Tbh he's only just recently stopped doing it or at least way less than he used to (age 9)