Is it unfair on my daughter to have only one child?

[hahasan]

I have a gorgeous daughter and although I would love to have more children I am worried about the financial implications that would entail. But I worry that when I and husband are dead and gone (sorry for being so doom and gloom!!) my daughter will have nobody (my husband's family all live overseas) and my own family is very small. On the other hand, I have just loved the whole experience of having my baby daughter and would love to be able to have another child.

Does anyone have any opinions?

It sounds like you are not sure what you would like. Your DD will be fine regardless of whether you have one or seven children - yes, she may be different as a result, but every scenario has its pros and cons.

If you would 'love to be able to have another child' then go for it; you'll manage finacially just as other people do. If you decide to stick with one she will be happy too. What would be worse for your DD is you always saying 'what if...'

Have the size of family you want.

If you have more children they will fight and you will feel guilty for dividing your attention - there is nothing you can do to be in the right the best piece of advice anyone ever gave me is that motherhood and guilt go hand in hand.

there are pros and cons to only children as there are for having more than one.

Why not put situation on hold for now and look at it again in a year or two.

If you are happy for now, then leave it as it is for now. Doesn't mean you can't change your mind later.

only children thread, might help

...my DH and I both have come from large families and most of the aunts and uncles fight like cats and dogs, and the weddings are pretty grim and the funerals are TERRIBLE, fighting over the wills, nicking items from home of deceased etc etc.
DH is barely on speaking terms with 2 of his siblings...I could go on.
Therefore I am highly dubious over the benefits of a large family, and guess what, we only have one DC and we like it that way.
Don't torture yourself with guilt.
There will always, in life, be "what if's?" but don't drive yourself mad with them.

It's up to you to have the size of family you want. Dh was an only child and I came from a family of 6. We ended up having 3 children because he didn't want only one child and I just could not cope with a large family.

I would like another child (we have one dd) but DH is dead against it. When we first met he didn't want any kids at all, so I feel like he has met me halfway by having dd (who he loves and is a fantastic dad to.) Like one of the other posters, Dh comes from a large family who detest each other (his mum married 3 times, twice to men who already had kids of their own, so working out the family web gets complex!) He therefore can't see any benefits from having more kids, and can only see the positives in an only child in terms of time spent with the child and a better financial situation.

I am an only child btw (not through choice, parents couldn't have any more), and I think I am fairly well balanced. I was rarely lonely as a child, although I loved reading which helped. Mum and Dad worked hard to make me realise that I was not the centre of the universe (although I think I still have those tendencies at times if I am honest ). They also invited lots of kids round to play.

I heard a really interesting thing on Radio 4 about only kids, basically saying that they are generally more secure because they have never had to compete for affection, and therefore have a greater sense of self-worth and self-esteem (obviously only if they have loving parents). The flip side of that is that they can be selfish as they have never had to share people.