I’ve been with my partner almost 10 years now, we’re 24 and had our first daughter together in August 23. My partners mother in law has always been quite difficult but for years I tried to completely ignore it so she had no idea that I would’ve been upset by the remarks she made. I’m pretty quiet and would hate to rock the boat or be centre of attention so found this easiest.
Last year my partners dad died (his parents were separated) and the day after she decided to go on holiday and my partner only had me as his support network when he would’ve benefited from some help from his mum. We had a repeat of this after my daughter was born and he had a depressive episode where he begged his mum to be there but she refused to come home from holiday.
The issue now comes that we are at a family party with his family. We needed to get my daughter fed and down for a nap and a lot of his family had bad coughs. So I had expressed that she was a bit fussy and we wouldn’t be passing her around. I had a huge lecture from my mother in law about how I’m making her attached to me and that I need to ‘build her immune system’. She even told me I was rocking my daughter too much as she won’t get use to sleeping alone. I was very understanding and said I appreciate the advice but would do what I felt best for her. After this she kept going and asked if she had upset me, I said she had hurt my feelings but I would like to leave things. She then turned it round as though I was nasty and started crying so we had to leave the party.
Please can someone shed some light on how I can deal with her? I am really done after all these years of making an effort when she clearly has no respect for me or my partner as parents. However I really don’t want my partner to be disconnected from his family!
(Thanks so much if you made it to the end! Sorry for the long one!)