Need to rant and open to suggestions

[Cam1153]

My 4 and 5 year olds see their dad every second weekend with no extras over holidays or even Christmas. Any time I ask him to spend any extra time the answer is no.

He also has this bizarre logic that he can o ly see the kids if he isn’t at work. He refuses to have them more and arrange childcare around his work. He lives with his fiance and her 10 year old and has very involved parents.

i have asked him to have the kids for 10 days in June so i can go on holiday. After various poor excuses which i found solutions for, he has eventually said point blank no.

I am fuming. I know the answer is that I have to suck it up, but just wondering if anyone has any advice or suggestions?

is this reflected in maintenance you receive? do the children enjoy going to him?

Yes it’s reflected in the maintainence which took a long time but eventually after his wages being arrested is finally sorted out.

they do enjoy going with him, if it wasn’t for that I’d have stopped contact. But they do like spending time with their dad which is partly why I’m always trying to get him to have them more.

they do enjoy going with him, if it wasn’t for that I’d have stopped contact.

you would not have been able to

Anyway, you know the answer. It is frustrating but you can’t force someone to have their children more. And tbh, anyone who doesn’t want more time when only seeing EOW is not someone i’d be wanting my children with more regularly anyway

I would have. The only reason contact is in place now is because I have pushed and pushed for it. The first year of my daughter’s life he never seen her and it was really difficult to get that contact going. The only reason he has them at all now is to bring his maintenance down.

yeah you’re exactly right. It’s just very frustrating. Are there a lot of other parents in this position? How do you manage with work? I’m on the verge of losing my job due to absences relating to illnesses with the kids, school strike days, appointments etc.

feeling really overwhelmed at trying to manage a job efficiently and being sole parent.