Guilt guilt guilt :(

[charlielouux]

Having DC2 next week (not due then but having ELCS so unless go into labour right now or earlier than Thursday, they’re guaranteed to come then haha!)

I have my 2yo DS, he’s currently got a horrendous cough/cold. He was up all night coughing and has been up loads last few nights coughing a lot

It’s freezing and rain is on and off so our plans have been changing etc. I feel so guilty like we need to go out morning and afternoon before we welcome our 2nd child

We decided against the zoo today as forecast there is rain and it’s a long drive to it, so to do the long drive then tread around in the rain is silly I felt , we can go when it’s good sunny weatger

bu t as the days get closer to my ELCS, I just feel so worried and guilty like I haven’t done enough etc

we are going out this afternoon but I just feel really down and worried :(

my sister keeps reassuring me he won’t remember this time in his life as he’s young and a sibling is the best gift we can give

i still feel guilt

You don't need to give your ds any more than you can - love and care is plenty. He won't miss a zoo day, the zoo will be there in the future.

Is it possible it's just anxiety about the birth / having another child manifesting itself this way?

Your sister is right - he won’t remember a thing! I’m not sure whether she’s always right about the sibling being a gift thing - only time will tell on that one 😄

Can u snuggle on the sofa and watch a film?

It Would be way worse if he was taken on twice daily adventures every day and then it suddenly all stopped when they baby came along. Save your guilt for the thousand and one opportunities to feel this way that are coming up over the next 20 years. And best of luck with the birth. Your kids will be just fine x

Yeah I’ve felt so guilty all this pregnancy which makes me sad as I was very excited with DS. This time was a bit of a suprise and I wanted a bit of a bigger age gap so I feel now the actual baby part is approaching I am so nervous and just want DS to be okay with everything

Well, its a big adjustment period for all of you, but whatever happens, he really will not remember it. He won't remeber a time when he didn't have a sibling.

Your son is not going to enjoy being out in the cold and rain if he's coughing and hasn't slept - as you say, save the treat for a sunny day.

I had a massive wobble just before having my second and felt really guilty that I wouldn't be able to give my eldest enough time. Your capacity for love grows and there is even more love in the family. There will be plenty of trips out to the park/zoo over the coming years and then your DS will have a little sibling to share the joy with. Your sister is right, try to relax and enjoy the new addition to the family.

The thing to remember is that the trip to the zoo etc is really for you, not your two year old. He'd be happy in the local park/softplay/playing at home. They key for him is that you and your DP are there and engaging with him. The good news is you can do that regardless of the weather.

I remember feeling the same, but honestly they soon forget.
the night before my ELCS we planned to go to his favourite place for pizza/ice cream and I’m not joking my little boy was a complete nightmare, meltdown central 😂 me and my husband looked at each other like well that’s £50 we won’t get back 🫣

I felt the same, but now after 9 months my two love each other so much and it's been wonderful. My eldest had no interest in babies and was very possessive, so I felt very guilty and worried. Now he's a very protective and kind big brother. I feel proud of how far he's come and that I have enriched his life by giving him a sibling. You will be fine and when the dust settles, it will be fab for your eldest. Good luck and just enjoy it!

Oh love, you don't need to put this much pressure on yourself and you really, really don't have to feel guilty. I remember before my second came feeling guilty because DS1 would have to share me and guilty because I was sure I could never love another one as much as I did DS1. The time before the baby comes it's just filled with feelings and nerves but honestly, he just wants you to love him, and you clearly do. He doesn't need all this quality adventure stuff packed in - especially when he's poorly and you're knackered! - just cuddle up, maybe bake something one day, and play with him. You don't have to do anything else. I know it feels overwhelming and scary but he (and you) will be absolutely fine. I promise

You don't need to fill every day now like it was your last if anything that will make it harder for you all as he will be used to doing loads and miss it.

You are heavily pregnant you should not be rushing about you should be resting. Lots of cuddles with books on the sofa. You can give your 2 year old your full attention if you are well rested.

Thank you for all the reassuring messages :) it’s silly how we worry isn’t it because I’ve been getting thoughts of worry about my 2nd too

will I love them like my DS, how will I manage

logically I know it’ll all work out ! Just very hormonal, sore, tired and near the end so all these things coming out. And even pre pregnancy I had mum guilt all the time constantly worrying, it’s just amped up now😭