Transition from bed sharing to next 2 me cot

[Kathryn1996]

Hi Everyone 👋
My little boy is currently 3 and a half months old and I think he is going through the 4 month sleep regression because he's having shorter naps in the day and up every 2 hours at night 😭

In the day time for his naps, he'll fall asleep feeding (EBF) then he'll stay on me for his naps. We tried putting him down once he fell asleep when he was younger, but he'd wake up every time so now we just do contact naps.

In the night, he sleeps in bed with me because its the only way either of us get any sleep. However, in order to bed share safely, I have to sleep in weird positions so I'm always aching the next day.

I would really love to be able to get him to sleep in his next 2 me cot next to the bed, but every time I've tried he just cries. I'm really worried that he'll be in our bed forever.

Has anyone got any advice or been through anything similar?

I'm in the same position except my baby is 4 and a half months now and we were bed sharing (and kind of still are) until a few weeks ago. She doesn't nap much in the day and when she does it's mostly contact napping.

To finally get her into her cot I have had to feed her to sleep, then let her sleep on my chest for about 10 mins, then slowly set her down in the cot. It usually works but sometimes she wakes up. After a few hours she will wake up and want fed again and to be honest I'm too tired to do the whole routine all night so she's in the bed with me for the rest of the night. But it's a bit of progress from where we were a few weeks ago! She's feeding 3 or 4 times a night.

Honestly it's so hard having a baby that doesn't sleep well and hates their cot. We must have used the next 2 me only a handful of times since she was born and now she's grown out of it so it was a waste money 😂good luck!!

Glad it’s not just me! My baby is five and a half months and we do seem to be out of the 4 month regression which was similar how you describe yours, short naps, waking up in the night every 1.5hrs, really fussing going down etc.

Having said that all naps in the day are either post feed (EBF) and on me or in the pram/sling while walking. In the night I’m in a similar boat to @sommeliermama and feed to sleep, literally set a timer for 15mins and then do the gentle transfer into the cot, if he wakes up I basically have to start the whole process again. He’s up roughly every 3hrs in the night and I do the same routine, and most of the time I find that he’s half asleep feeding and conks out quickly so it’s actually easier getting him back in the cot for the night feeds.

I’d love to start sleep training but every time I try I eventually give in and feed him to sleep. I really feel like I’ve messed up and am too ‘soft’ but not teaching him how to go to sleep independently but hopefully we’ll get there at some point.
I hope some wise poster comes along with miracle advice!

@sommeliermama thank you for your reply, glad to know I'm not the only mum in this position! Will you be sleep training your little girl? I'm stressing about it because he's already not a great sleeper 😭 so I don't know whether just to keep in our bed for longer or sleep train, but I'd love to have my bed back to myself!

@CityKity how long did your sleep regression last? Mines been about 3 weeks and I'm knackered! Thank you for your reply 🙏

@Kathryn1996 I would say our regression lasted about 4 weeks and then gradually improved. I also found it absolutely exhausting and the most tired I’ve ever felt since being a mum. No more post birth hormones / adrenaline to keep me going and DH back at work so no one else to take over - rough!
Because it hit me like a ton of bricks I’m even more nervous to change up what’s working for us (contact naps etc) because I feel like I still need to recover some sleep back!

@Kathryn1996 I have thought about sleep training but I'm not sure yet. She's definitely not ready for it at the minute, there is no way she could self soothe. Any time she starts crying when she's by herself she goes from zero to 100 (inconsolable) extremely quickly!! I might try when she is 6 or 7 months old but I have a horrible feeling that it won't work for her. I have read a few reports online that it doesn't work for every baby 😫

Hi @Kathryn1996 @sommeliermama @CityKity
I'm in this situation right now and wondered how you two are getting on now with your little ones?

@SarahCLdn I'm not from this thread but had a similar experience with my now almost 2 yo. Fully cosleeping and contact napping from early on.

From about 5/6 months he was able to start the night in his cot - side/front sleeping was game changing in getting him to sleep in the cot for short stretches. I'd then cosleep from the first wake. Those stretches got longer and longer and we eventually got through the night in the cot around 11 months.

He still contact naps, but that's my choice not to bother changing and he naps fine independently at nursery. We cosleep when he's ill but more often he's in the cot overnight.