15 year old daughter is so wearing 😔

[maximus2018]

My daughter is completely wearing me out. She has to disagree with absolutely everything, if I say it’s warm, she’ll say it’s cold and that goes for almost every single thing anyone says.
She constantly complains about how everyone does more/gets more than her and doesn’t have a good world to say about anything or anyone. I have considered whether she might be depressed but when she’s getting or doing she wants she seems to enjoy it. She does ok at school
and the teachers always say she’s a joy to teach (apart from the chatting and being easily distracted!).
I love her but it is really hard to put her with her constant negativity and disagreeable behaviour her right now and I dread interacting with her most of the time as it almost always leads to an argument.
I know things could be so much worse but it is just so tiring and any advice would be most welcome!

Best thing you can do is pick your battles. Just agree/ignore. If she says it's warm and doesn't need a coat ,let her freeze. If she moans how awful it all is "I know darling, it's such a shame isn't it?" And so on. Especially over silly little things. Some kids will just argue (for attention, the entertainment factor,a need to control, to procrastinate/distract etc.) , so taking the winds out of their sails works best. She can't clap with one hand and she can't argue if no one is arguing back. Prioritise what's really important and non negotiable (like personal hygiene,school work etc)and stick to that. One line I use "this is not a debate" , I rarely use it so it has an effect and it's very clear that no matter what the argument is I'm not budging or engaging.

My DD was exactly the same at that age - if I said the sky was blue, she’d say it was pink. It used to really irritate me and would cause arguments. However, I now think this is normal for teens and is part of the process of separating from parents. They have to reject our views/beliefs and form their own.

Even knowing this, I would still feel annoyed with her but learned to not bite back. If she said something just for the sake of disagreeing with me I wouldn’t say anything in return or murmur something non committal in response. Remember you don’t have to accept every argument you are invited to.

She is now 17 and much more pleasant and even comments occasionally when her 14 year old sister says something unreasonable.