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Original poster

DH giving DS7 silent treatment

33 replies

Simplestar · 12/01/2024 20:25

Ok this morning DS ignored DH whilst he was talking and instead walked off, the whole day has past DS has been at school DH been at work 8pm on the evening and DS asking DH a question over and over calling him and he is just ignoring him totally can 100% hear him but choosing to just not say a word back, to me this is very wrong or is he right after DS ignored him this morning?! To me silent treatment is just horrible!

OP posts:
Fleamaker · 12/01/2024 20:34

Well if he's punishing his son by not speaking to him, why is he surprised his son does the same back to him! This is what he's teaching him, very immature isn't it.

Your husband is the adult and he should be modelling mature behaviour. And punishing in a respectful way.
The silent treatment is classed as abuse.

thedementedelf · 12/01/2024 20:47

But he did it to ds too so you need to ask dh where ds got it from.

gamerchick · 12/01/2024 20:49

Your blokes inflicting emotional abuse on your kid and you're not sure if it's ok?

Why haven't you read him the riot act?

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ButteryBiscuitBaseBiscuitBase · 12/01/2024 21:11

I'd be tapping him and saying, "Well answer him then!"

If he doesn't like being ignored, then he needs to pull ds up on that behaviour and explain in words why it's rude and what the consequences will be if he does it again, and then drop it. Your dh is being petty and childish.

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 12/01/2024 21:14

He is very very wrong and this is not okay.

MonkeyPuddle · 12/01/2024 21:15

He’s a bullying cunt.

Mielbee · 12/01/2024 21:17

This is abusive and not OK. Children do what they have modelled to them - how can they learn something else?

Justanything86 · 12/01/2024 21:24

Pathetic.

gentlemum · 12/01/2024 21:51

That's so cruel, and just bullying behaviour really. How pathetic of him. I would be having very strong words with him

huuskymam · 12/01/2024 21:51

He's being an arsehole and should have pulled the child when he was ignoring him, instead of playing tit for tat with a 7 year old. Gobshite.

Original poster
Simplestar · 12/01/2024 22:18

I told him to answer him soon as I heard DS ask more than twice, his reply was well he ignored me earlier, I will be having words!! I can’t stand that bullying childish behaviour, a part of me though is it normal for an adult to act like that am I over reacting, I think we just parent very differently ! And this spiteful behaviour won’t be going on!

OP posts:
IsThePopeCatholic · 12/01/2024 22:30

What a nasty thing to do. Verging on abuse.

WeveGotThis · 12/01/2024 22:41

I think it's overreacting to call this abuse! If it's a one-off it's childish, it's petty and it isn't helpful, especially if there is no discussion with DS about why he's doing it. It's a retaliation for DS' behaviour but DS seemingly didn't do that on purpose as he's forgotten it. Clearly DH was hurt by DS' behaviour, but this isn't the best way to teach him a lesson.

WeveGotThis · 12/01/2024 22:43

huuskymam · 12/01/2024 21:51

He's being an arsehole and should have pulled the child when he was ignoring him, instead of playing tit for tat with a 7 year old. Gobshite.

This

teudent · 12/01/2024 22:49

I told him to answer him soon as I heard DS ask more than twice, his reply was well he ignored me earlier,

He is the fucking adult in the situation, not an equal to a 7 year old. Tell him to grown the fuck up or leave. There is no way I would tolerate a grown adult abusing my child, and yes, it is abuse.

teudent · 12/01/2024 22:50

WeveGotThis · 12/01/2024 22:41

I think it's overreacting to call this abuse! If it's a one-off it's childish, it's petty and it isn't helpful, especially if there is no discussion with DS about why he's doing it. It's a retaliation for DS' behaviour but DS seemingly didn't do that on purpose as he's forgotten it. Clearly DH was hurt by DS' behaviour, but this isn't the best way to teach him a lesson.

It's definitely abuse and if that's the way he thinks it will almost certainly escalate.

Housefullofcatsandkids · 12/01/2024 22:54

This is not normal, it's horrible and childish. If he wanted to deal with DS ignoring him in the morning he should have dealt with it there and then (in a more appropriate way) so it was over and done with. To hold a grudge all day, mimic the behaviour and say he's going to have words with him is pathetic and bullying behaviour.

PaperDoIIs · 12/01/2024 22:56

Is this a one off? If not you have a serious problem on your hands.

If yes, talk to him, remind him he is an adult and DS is a child of only 7. He is the one who is supposed to be modelling good behaviour, including talking through his feelings rather than doing stupid tit for tat. He needs to apologise to DS and be better.

Original poster
Simplestar · 12/01/2024 23:13

He does things out of spite DS always goes to do the food shop with him whenever he goes, and after DS had ignored him he said to our 2 year old are you going to come shopping with daddy, (even though they wouldn’t be going until the evening) clearly just wanting DS to hear and ask him if he can go probably just so he can ignore him back! But DS didn’t hear.. so when DH has called through the day I asked why DS wasn’t going shopping with him he said hecause he ignored me this morning. so he has dragged this on all day, until after work when he went shopping with 2 year old and then got back waited until DS spoke to him and couldn’t wait to ignore him!! He really is so pathetic and childish I am so angry

OP posts:
Startyabastard · 12/01/2024 23:15

ButteryBiscuitBaseBiscuitBase · 12/01/2024 21:11

I'd be tapping him and saying, "Well answer him then!"

If he doesn't like being ignored, then he needs to pull ds up on that behaviour and explain in words why it's rude and what the consequences will be if he does it again, and then drop it. Your dh is being petty and childish.

Exactly. One is an adult and the other isn't. There's better ways to deal with it than doing it back... an adult conversation about respect, maybe???!

Gcsunnyside23 · 12/01/2024 23:17

He's a spiteful prick isn't he. Wow he's just going to get worse as your son gets older. I would give him silent treatment also and tell him you're just behaving like the other so called adult in the house and if he doesn't grow up he can leave

PaperDoIIs · 12/01/2024 23:18

Simplestar · 12/01/2024 23:13

He does things out of spite DS always goes to do the food shop with him whenever he goes, and after DS had ignored him he said to our 2 year old are you going to come shopping with daddy, (even though they wouldn’t be going until the evening) clearly just wanting DS to hear and ask him if he can go probably just so he can ignore him back! But DS didn’t hear.. so when DH has called through the day I asked why DS wasn’t going shopping with him he said hecause he ignored me this morning. so he has dragged this on all day, until after work when he went shopping with 2 year old and then got back waited until DS spoke to him and couldn’t wait to ignore him!! He really is so pathetic and childish I am so angry

What was the ignoring incident this morning?

teudent · 12/01/2024 23:20

Simplestar · 12/01/2024 23:13

He does things out of spite DS always goes to do the food shop with him whenever he goes, and after DS had ignored him he said to our 2 year old are you going to come shopping with daddy, (even though they wouldn’t be going until the evening) clearly just wanting DS to hear and ask him if he can go probably just so he can ignore him back! But DS didn’t hear.. so when DH has called through the day I asked why DS wasn’t going shopping with him he said hecause he ignored me this morning. so he has dragged this on all day, until after work when he went shopping with 2 year old and then got back waited until DS spoke to him and couldn’t wait to ignore him!! He really is so pathetic and childish I am so angry

You need to be far more than angry. This cannot be allowed to continue. This is meant to be the one man in your son's life that he can rely on, instead he is being an abusive nasty cunt to him. He would have to have a personality transplant for me to stay with him.

Original poster
Simplestar · 12/01/2024 23:23

@PaperDoIIs i really cannot remember i just know DH called DS and he carried on walking into his room I don’t even know what he was calling him for I was busy getting everything ready for school but he called him once it is not like he called him numerous times and got ignored and he did not follow him into his room to say what he wanted to say

OP posts:
teudent · 12/01/2024 23:26

Simplestar · 12/01/2024 23:23

@PaperDoIIs i really cannot remember i just know DH called DS and he carried on walking into his room I don’t even know what he was calling him for I was busy getting everything ready for school but he called him once it is not like he called him numerous times and got ignored and he did not follow him into his room to say what he wanted to say

This is so much worse than I thought from your OP. I was under the impression he was talking to him and he walked off. He actually just called his name and he kept walking and his dad is punishing him in the most horrendous emotional way Sad

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