Ideas needed! Keeping 3yo in room

[TreaclePlum]

Hi all!
Looking for people who have gone through this and found things that worked.

Context..i have a "just turned" 3yo and a 10w old baby.

My 3yo has never been a super sleeper, co slept a lot until I fell pregnant, we sleep trained her successfully and it was just standard comforting here and there at night for the past year or so.

Since Christmas, shes started coming out of her room. It started as nightmares, which is fair, but now she just comes out endlessly.

Im up all night breast feeding the baby so my husband is up with her trying to get her back into bed. He gave up and let her sleep in with him (I'm currently in spare room) on a mattress on the floor. 2 nigbts that was fine but now she just messes all night. Chatting, demanding any form of interaction from him.

He isnt coping with sleep deprivation!

Last 2 nights i tried. I just calmly escorted her back to bed each time she got up. It was successful in that she got back into bed and went back to sleep each time no fuss. But was stilll up every hour or 2, and between that and feeding the baby it isnt sustainable.

My husband got back on it last night. Back to nonsense and messing about. She walks all over him. Came out 11 times in an hour...so she let him sleep in his room again but again, endless messing all night.

Anyway! That's the story...i know it isnt uncommon for toddlers to come out and seek comfort. Thats fine, but this is of course beyond.

Has anyone had a similar scenario and worked out a successful way to keep them in bed?

(Ps yes aware baby has caused change and unsettled etc. Not looking for reasons its happening because it is what it is! Just need ideas to get her resettled for majority of night)

Thanks

You can either keep on putting her back to bed, no nonsense, no attention or fun and she will get it eventually.

Or, my DC had a stairgate on their bedroom doors. This was for safety reasons, as we couldn't fit one on the stairs, but it also meant that they would just go back to sleep again.

You and your husband need to have a proper chat, set expectations, both enforce the same boundaries and be consistent.

By him allowing DD to get into bed with him, he’s undermining the work you did for those 2 nights returning her to her bed. DD needs to realise you are both serious, and DH needs to realise there will be a few nights/weeks even of broken sleep as you establish this new routine but it’s short term pain for long term gain.