Toilet training where to start and what books are worth it?

[anniz91]

Considering toilet training my soon to be 1 year old.

What helped you e.g books, videos etc.?

You can't toilet train an almost 1 year old.

You can run around cleaning up accidents and occasionally getting some wee into a potty / toilet if you're quick enough. But actually training them to know when they need to use a toilet and how to take themselves to use it just isn't going to happen at such a young age.

When your child is older, probably in another year or 2, then I would recommend the Oh Crap book, which gives a great step by step instructions and talks you through each stage of training.

So you want to wee catch and condition your child to wee on demand.

Toilet training a not even one year old!?

You can't is the simple answer and anyone telling you otherwise is lying.

You can maybe train yourself to notice when your child may need to wee or poo but the child is being taught fuck all and won't know what is happening.

What helped was waiting till he was ready at about 2yrs 6mths and going from there.
You can't potty train a 1yr old.

There is increasing evidence to support putting babies on the potty from the time they are able to sit comfortably. Have a look at the ERIC website for some information. I wouldn’t make a bit thing of it, just start putting baby on the potty after meals and naps for a few minutes whilst reading a book or looking at an interesting toy. It’s not potty training as such, but it will make the transitioning to independent toileting much smoother.

There's no need for a toilet training book.

You do it when they're ready... Ie they start going away somewhere out of sight for a poo.

Prepare yourself for a week or two nonstop when you start.

Get a toilet seat with steps

Never ask them if they need a weed or poo (they 99% of the time say no to that)

When they're hopping up and down on the spot doing a wee dance, tell them that's their body telling them they need the toilet

Put their pants on underneath their nappies so they become aware what it feels like to be dirty (nappies are so good these days and too dry)

Lots of praise, maybe a sticker chart

Again, wait until they're ready, 1 yr is too young.

There’s only one book worth reading: the Oh Crap potty training book.

The ideal window is 20-30 months. Any younger than that and they can’t understand, any older than that and they have their own willpower and are resistant so it takes ages.

It’s good you are thinking about this early. So many parents wait until their child is “ready”, but “ready” is a misnomer. If they’re 3 you’ve already missed the window and left it too late!

I used to sit my DC on the potty in the morning and before their bath. Not with the hope of training them, but to get them used to the potty.
Occasionally, they did a wee into it, not by design, but it meant when they were older and knew they needed a wee, the potty was not new and scary.

What you are thinking of is called elimination communication not toilet training.

Amanda Jenner's potty training magic worked for us. For my son we got Pirate Pete and the Potty (girl's version is Princess Polly).

You are too late to start elimination communication, so you'll have to wait a while and potty train the traditional way.

I second the Oh Crap Potty Training book. My two learned no bother, though they were both 2 when they learned.

Sorry this is too much of a generalisation. Some kids do need longer.

Op you don’t need necessarily need a book. The advice you’ll mostly get on here is to follow the Oh Crap method, which I believe is to start off a couple of days without anything on the bottom and encourage child to use the potty. Then put pants on after a few days and hope there won’t be many accidents. Seems to work for a lot of people. 1 is too young though.

Have a potty and keep putting them on the potty whenever you change their nappy and when they wake from sleep.

Have a read into elimination communication. We did it lazily from 6 ISH months when she could sit up. We were doing quite well with it until I went into hospital for 10 weeks and it spoilt our flow so do try to keep up the habit. It took until nearly 2 and a half to get her back on to the potty.

With a 1 yo it might be slower but it's absolutely possible to toilet train an ~18 month for example. Teaching signs for the toilet and wee/poo will help and you need to keep a beady eye on their cues that they need a wee/poo to get them on the potty.

My daughter potty trained at 2y9m, however she is a 1st percentile baby and only in 12-18 month old clothes and have had some issues in finding her knickers and then none poppered vests. We found more in 18-24 month and we delayed training her by a month so that these weren't ridiculously big on her

Based on MN recommendations I bought Oh Crap and followed the method pretty strictly. It worked on my 20 month old (girl) after about 1 week (for daytime toiletting - it was another 2 years before she was dry at night).

Under 1 yo though? Sounds unlikely...

Yeah it definitely does depend on the child though.

DC1 was pretty much completely sorted within a few days at 2yrs 2 months roughly following that book and just took to the potty straight away. I didn't even need to prompt them to go or anything they just took themselves off to it from day 1. It was a shock as I wasnt expecting it to be so easy and they'd never displayed any 'signs of readiness' before that people mention.

DC2 is now 2 yrs 3 months and we've tried similarly to introduce the potty but it's been a non-starter. They seem to have absolutely no understanding regarding pee and then though they tell me when they are going to poo they cry and get upset about the thought of potty and not having a nappy and got stuck in a horrible cycle of withholding for weeks. So we've had to abandon that and will try again in another month or so maybe.

With a 1YO you are going to be doing elimination communication. It is not potty training. It doesn’t help potty training come sooner. It was handy in the days of terry nappies and no tumble dryers to cut down on laundry bur these days there’s no point as it’s just creating work for yourself.

The Oh Crap book is honestly not my favourite method but it has really good explanations of things, including elimination communication and how it is not potty training, but also signs of readiness and what the potty training process actually is. I’d recommend that anyone read it even if you ultimately go with another method (we did the Gina Ford one). The absolute youngest you can think about potty training is 18 months but they need to be walking (the muscles are linked), have decent enough speech to express the need to go, be capable of expressing needs (eg hungry or thirsty, wanting a specific toy) and be capable of following 2 step instructions. For most kids that’s going to more like 2-2.5.

I did it part time at 1. Very common if you use cloth nappies, or baby has nappy rash or constipation or some other reason to wind up doing part time elimination communication instinctively. We did a lot of nappy free time and picked up on signals they are about to poo and you hold them over a toilet or potty and then they quickly learn to go if they need it when you hold them that way. My aim wasn't to get them out of nappies very early, it was just convenient to be able to get them to try and go before long journeys, before a bath/swimming, before I did a nappy wash etc the book Diaper Free Baby was an interesting guide but I read it after I'd already done it.

@Grimmz That’s because nighttime dryness is hormonal and can take up to age 7. You can’t train it.