Im wondering what age did your child get to, when you felt as if you could take on a new business/ start up? There’s a lot to unpack here so will try to provide some context;
Before I fell pregnant, my son was planned, I had spent the previous 2 years setting up an online platform that was ahead of the curve and something that I ‘sparked’ over. It was a passion, something I thought about day and night, had constant ideas of how to grow the business and honestly made me feel purposeful and excited for life. I also invested over £20k in the setting up of the business, had business meetings with important contacts etc etc. I naively believed the narrative fed to me mainly by my boomer dad that I could do it all, and would have all the free time in maternity leave to make it fly like I had envisioned (boy, was I wrong 😃 he’s a non sleeper) . Fast forward to my pregnancy, I was hit with a mountain load of child hood trauma that I had never dealt with mainly in terms with my mum and how neglectful, cold and distant she was as a mother. I knew our relationship was strained growing up but never knew why. I found out quick and fast during those 9 months! This led to a shift In me as a person and the mother I would become. My son knows what my love feels like on an hourly basis and I never want him to feel neglected or shamed like I was, so something had to give; working a full time 9-5, creating a start up and raising a baby would and did not work. Obviously and naturally, I chose my son. There is no bigger priority in my life than my beautiful boy however it doesn’t stop me missing that part of me, my personality and purpose.
My son is 3.5 now and getting slightly easier, albeit the threes are three’ing! And we never know which personality we are going to wake up to haha. I still would not feel comfortable dedicating set time away from his and my time as it is so important to both of us! However, I do often wonder when that time will feel more natural for the both of us?
Has anyone ever been through something like this? Im certain there are, if you have any advise or forecasts as to when it was easier for you to go out and pave your way again?
When it is time, I will most likely go part time at 9-5 or give up completely. Again, once my son is at school, this provides flexibility and the time to work around him and his schedule without the guilt. I guess, im kind of answering my own question here but did this ring true for anyone whos been through this also?
If you’ve got to this point, thank you for reading and any advise, success stories welcome 😊
xx