Nursery Illness from settling in sessions

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Hi all, so as the title says my 15 month old has done four settling-in sessions at nursery, and is missing his first proper day today as he is very lethargic with a cough and high temp. He literally came home from his first session with a cough and a runny nose. I knew it would be bad and I have prepped as much as we can to just get through the next few(?!) months.

But I’m shocked and kind of weirdly disappointed at how quickly he’s caught something! I thought he was quite robust from all the baby groups we’ve been to, still breastfed and has a good, varied diet. Also lots of fresh air and has daily vitamin drops.

So I guess my question is, is this normal? To catch something so soon? It’s not like he hasn’t been exposed to germs before - we go to lots of baby groups (admittedly less so over the winter as he did have a bad sick bug which spooked me a bit) and he sees young cousins regularly. Or are the next few months going to be even worse than I thought?!

So as not to drop feed, nursery seems to have a good sickness policy and windows open when it’s too cold to go outside, but I did notice they didn’t always wash baby’s hands before snacks etc. They were all sharing toys so not sure how much difference this would make, but would you raise this? We always wash his hands at home after getting back from groups and before eating, especially as he is still crawling.

If he went into the first session with no cold symptoms and came out with cold symptoms then he was brewing the cold beforehand, he wouldn't have caught, incubated and developed symptoms over the course of a couple of hours.

But yes, ultimately you are likely to see an increase in illness over the first few months as they are exposed to more. No matter how vigilant the nursery staff are kids are tactile and so they spread germs easily.

Has he had many illnesses in his life already?

My son is 2 and 3 months, he won't start preschool until September. Like you we go to loads of baby groups and regularly go to soft play etc but he's only been sick once in his life when we all caught covid. My friends toddlers who also don't go to crèche seem to be constantly sick. I like to think he has an amazing immune system but realistically we'll probably get the same disappointment when he starts preschool later this year.

Just because your son caught this particular bug so quickly doesn't mean he'll catch everything going though, hopefully it was just unfortunate timing!

@FlabMonsterIsDietingAgain yes, you’re right, he was probably already harbouring it. I think my back is up in anticipation for the illnesses so I automatically blamed the nursery session!

@shivawn not really! We were lucky and basically went his whole first year without anything except the odd cough/bit of congestion - he even dodged covid from me when I was still EBF! He was only properly ill last October with a sickness bug which I presume he got from baby group. Since then he’s also had a mystery virus and now this chesty cough/temp. I did wonder if a lot of it is because since Oct he was being exposed to the germs from his little pals that started nursery before him, who we still regularly see. I guess they don’t grab much at first at the groups so we were almost in spring when he started interacting more too.
Tbh I should probably stop trying to figure it all out and accept the inevitable, but I also thought I was blessed with a robust baby (laughs in First Time Mum)
Thanks for the reassurance, you’re right he might not get everything 🤞

Yes very normal unfortunately. A friend's DC caught noro on his first settling session, took out the whole family and delayed her return to work. Just one of those unavoidable things.

A few years ago we had our youngest doing her first winter in nursery, and eldest caught loads too as it was the year the covid restrictions were easing and there was a massive rate of viral infections going around nurseries and schools. I think there was one week between Sept and Dec that we both worked 5 full days.

This year, I think they had one day off each in that period. It does ease out! Brutal when you're in it though.

unfortunately very normal.

on the plus side, after the first winter the dc are usually more robust.

I recommended all my friends to start settling in a month before starting work.

I would agree with pp that if it came on that quickly after the first session, he probably already had it.

Sharing toys is entirely normal. It's how the kids develop and learn. Much as we might want to, every interaction can't be sanitised.

In the kindest possible way, I think you need to stop worrying about it its completely normal. Kids get sick. Colds etc. are good for them. Dirt exposure is good for them, sharing toys and exposure to germs is ultimately good for them. These are not bad things. For us as parents its not nice to see them unwell. But for basic coughs, colds , odd temperature don't worry about it. We have some societal hate of germs. But they're not all bad and exposure is needed.

Stock up on calpol and nurofen. Maybe a humidifer and some cough medicine for those annoying coughs. Oh and a calpol plug in and electric tape (to cover the annoying light in it). Also make sure you get some first defence for yourself as you'll get alot of things too!

He'll be fine, as will you. It does improve a bit over time. We've found since we changed to a nursery that has a policy of no such thing as bad weather, it has lessened the illness a lot. I'd be wanting more than just opening a window. Wrap them up and send them outside. But know lots of nurseries don't do that.

@Antsinmypantsneedtodance thank you, I do need to stop worrying and go with the flow - I think i just wasn't expecting it to start so soon. Thank you for the tips, we have stocked up but don't have a plug-in so that's on the list!

That's another thing, we were quite sold on the nursery saying they got them outside regardless of weather, as I think fresh air is so important every day, but on the days I was there they didn't go outside once! I only saw the toddlers getting ready to go out. So I may raise this. I'm having a few niggles about the nursery too which probably isn't helping my worries on his health, but that's another thread!

@greenacrylicpaint I was hoping to have a month but have to go back next week (freelancing) so feels like it's all happening at once! It's reassuring to know that this is all par for the course though. If not now it'll be school!

We're going through our first winter at nursery and the illnesses have literally been back to back. Used to attend groups etc and hardly ever ill. I'm hoping it will improve in time!

How long were you there for? Are you sure you haven't just seen a snapshot with regards to going outside etc.

If this is going to have to work, you are going to have to learn to trust them and accept that whilst it might not be exactly how you would do things at home, fundamentally if your DC is happy, well cared for and thriving those are the most important things.

It's very hard to do with your PFB, but you have to, or you'll tie yourself up in knots.

I had a similar robust baby but she was sick sooo much when she started nursery (including sickness bug on my second day back at work). First six months were the worst - I’d recommend you (and partner if applicable) have a plan for needing at least 3 days a month off work for the first six months. D&V will take baby out for 4 days or so at least (2 days symptoms, 48hrs after), colds and fevers can take 4-5 days until clear, chickenpox knocks out for a week etc. It’s daunting, but nothing has been as bad since - her second year in childcare has been much better, touch wood.

My son did the same. From his first settling in session he managed to catch a dreadful cold. It begins instantly unfortunately

My then 5 month old managed one day in nursery before getting so sick he ended up in hospital! But I don't think he then had a single day off in the next 4 years, other than the Covid isolation nonsense for mild cough (he'd have been well enough to go in otherwise). So don't automatically think it means you're in for a terrible time.

Oh and get the chickenpox vaccine!

Yeah my DD got conjunctivitis from her settling in, preventing her from starting at nursery. That was in November. Since then she's been at nursery 21 times and been sent home 11 times for sickness, has had two lots of antibiotics and one set of eye drops.

The thing that has really irked me is DH and I have got ill every single time as well!