Screens - 3 year old

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Hi all. Looking for advice on how to row back my 3YO son’s screen time (if that is even possible). Up to about 2.5 we were quite strict with screen time - he would only have it at the weekend when we were out at a restaurant (Amazon fire tablet), so my husband and I could have a relatively peaceful brunch. Then we progressed onto son watching some TV at the weekends when he turned 3 - limited to an hour. Then we allowed him to watch for 30 minutes or so after nursery during the week.

Now, he’s obsessed. Every morning he says he doesn’t want to go to nursery, he wants to watch TV. Every weekend that’s what he wants to do. And he tantrums when we don’t let him.

How do we wean him off this addiction? Is it a case of allowing him to watch TV until he sickens of it? Or go cold turkey and deal with the tantrums?

I’d be grateful to hear others’ experiences.

Is it a case of allowing him to watch TV until he sickens of it?

good grief, no.

Allow him a set time every day to watch TV. We do half an hour while I’m making dinner. Also be carefully about which programmes you allow some are more addictive and poor quality than others.

This is what we did.

My dd had TV after their bath and before story, in their pyjamas with a cup of milk. One programme for a few years until they developed their own likes and dislikes then they chose one each.

Then during the day they know they are getting TV later. That now, isn't TV time.

This is what we currently do - I guess we will just hope that he settles into a routine with it. Thanks!

You'll have to put up with the tantrums when it's turned off and when he wants to watch at other times.
Be very strict and consistant.
It is convenient to put the remote out of reach so that he doesn't turn it on himself.

I think having a time limit is confusing for a three year old. Also, an hour is a lot all at once.

You would be better off saying 'you can watch three episodes of Bluey' or whatever so he knows.

That's twenty one minutes though so four.

Then I'd choose them with him. So he knows what he is getting and doesn't feel like the tv just rolls on and on.

The tv doesn't go on before nursery/school (including for adults, you have to model good behaviour) and stop the use of screens in restaurants to keep them quiet - instead engage with your child eg colouring, puzzles etc. Make tv less of a treat basically

I've seen somewhere an idea of 'tokens'

So basically 4 buttons in a jar for example and each button is one episode, or 20 minutes or whatever, and remove them when they are 'spent'

Then it's easy for them to visualize how much TV time they have that day, and have some control (and we all know toddlers LOVE control!) in choosing when to watch it.

This is an interesting idea. I imagine it would take a few days for him to be able to understand properly.

Rule in my house when they were little was no TV in morning till fed, dressed and teeth done, this also had to be done by 8am. If they weren't ready by 8 no TV - helped to teach time keeping skills.
Now the 6 year old has an hour an evening once that hour is done the tablet says down time now. - we could over ride it but have chosen not to so they don't ask for more time.

I found DS1's behaviour plummeted when he had regular TV (only ever 2 episodes of something like octonauts, so 20-30 minutes a day). This was when he was 4. He didn't have any TV until 3, and then it was sporadic. But his behaviour when it became more frequent really surprised me. We went completely cold turkey for I think two weeks and then went back to our previous approach to TV, which was sometimes but never with any expectations. Now he'll sometimes ask for it after school and sometimes he'll get it and sometimes he won't. Sometimes we'll have a family film day at the weekend. He's still delighted by it, but there's no longer tantrums about it.

One thing I've found helpful for those times where he's pretty tired and I can't give him attention (clearing up tea etc.) is audiobooks. We have Spotify and it now comes with 3 hours of audiobooks per month, so last night for instance he listened to a Horrid Henry story before bath time.

I feel like the responses so far are pretty strict compared to what I'd expect is typical! We didn't do TV until 1 years old and my DS was the last of his friends to watch it. We only started with a tiny bit at a time too.

DS is 2.5 now and if we're having a quiet day at home or not rushing out we watch TV in the morning for up to a couple of hours. Then we'll be out or playing until the afternoon when I'll let him watch some before dinner if he wants to. Honestly this sounds horrendous compared to the previous posters but I swear his friends and some of his cousins watch a lot more. We also have busy days where he'll watch very little to none.

I think that so long as they're doing plenty of active stuff and playing properly too then it's fine, as someone else said it's good to avoid the junk tv though and you can choose educational stuff like colour blocks, number blocks, alpha blocks, yakka dee on iPlayer.

I might be lucky that my DS is a pretty chilled kid and he doesn't tantrum if we stop the TV or he doesn't get to watch it. Rather that cutting it off because time's up it might help to distract him over to another activity. Like let's go bake/for a walk/play cars etc.

I'm sorry I don't have the most practical advice but I just wanted to basically say TV isn't the enemy and don't feel guilty for him having it. Personally we never use screen time at restaurants, but if he doesn't sit long to eat I can see why it's really useful!

Try making a visual timetable so he knows what is happening before TV.

We do half an hour a day after supper and before bedtime. CBeebies or Thomas the Tank Engine only. That's it. Definitiely no TV in the morning - I'd never get her out of the house. And it is always turned off when you say it will be - firm boundaries. She's 5 now and knows how it works.

Thanks all. We have a Tonie box, and he can now play songs/stories on Spotify via an Alexa, so he can access other entertainment. I think we need to push him toward that and be a bit stricter on the screens. I think tokens might work, so thanks for that suggestion.

Similar here! He's 3.5h.. he loves it but no problem switching tv off and moving on to something else

I let my 3y/o watch tv when it suits me. As in, when I need him to be distracted so I can get something done / when I'm tired and sometimes when he needs some downtime. I watch tv to zone out and so does he. I don't see it as an issue. H has a very full life, tends to watch educational shows anyways (engineering or music related), has an insane vocabulary partly thanks to tv and is out and about every day. I think tv is as big of an issue as you want to make it. Kids who sit and watch tv all the time with no other input - that's a different story.