I hate feeling like I can't wait for school to start

[litbic]

DS is four, not napped since 1 at all and up 6am-8pm, sometimes earlier. I work PT and find it such a struggle to fill my days off as it's got to the point where we are both sick of toddler groups and the alternative is just soft play, library etc. I have a physical disability so muddy walks, swimming are off the cards for me.
Sometimes I'm just sick of being in the house coming up with activities, trying to find stuff to do in the winter, wanting a break from the noise and preschool neediness and then I feel so awful.
I know I will miss it when he's at school, but at the moment I just want a break from it and feel down. Late September birth and also had a year of lock down so it's been intense at times.
DH is very supportive and takes over the min he gets home, but I WFH and sometimes feel I never get a break from the house/life admin/preschooler/endless housework. How do I stop feeling this way as I feel I'm wishing time away with him

Loads of parents feel like this. When they are at school its not only easier but you enjoy their days off with them so much more.

Will also add we can't afford lots of expensive days out or holidays due to COL crisis, everything we saved from funded hours has been wiped out by mortgage increase, energy prices food etc.

@Shiningout
Thank you for replying and not making me feel shit about it

I felt like this too about the preschool years. It's hard work and relentless unless you've loads of help. The lack of sleep and downtime is really hard. My 5 year old started school in September and life is so much better for him and me.
He doesn't need expensive days out or holidays at this age. Children this age are happy with very little. Trip to the park, woods, beach, meeting up with a friend ...these are all perfect for them.

@Mumof3onetwothree
Thank you. No we have no help, so we pay for a nursery day every 6-12 weeks to get a break if we can

I was delighted when DD started school and I was right to be. We’re both much happier.

Is your DS using his free hours? Can’t you do them term time only and use the 30 a week.

I have a September born and that last pre-school year was brutal. She outgrew most toddler groups and was bored of nursery, but there just wasn't anything else. Lockdown actually helped as she had her big brother to play with, and we were both much happier when she went to school.

It's very hard unless there's some regular family support....life will improve and don't feel guilty about wishing the time away, we all feel like that sometimes (or a lot of the time! I'm always counting the hours till bedtime!).

I had one born early Oct and felt the same! In the end I made Wedsnesdays library day and Thursdays swimming day.
on Weds we'd get the bus into town, run any errands, have a walk and picnic in the park (or library), get some books from the library and get the bus home for a bit of late afternoon TV/crafts.
Thursdays were swimming days. Went for a short walk or bike ride in the morning, home for lunch, then a swim in the afternoon and home for an hour of TV/books.

Maybe a set thing to do/meals to eat on each day might take some of the decisions/planning work out of it? I also tried to meet with friends as much as possible, that helped a lot. Its much easier when they're ar school. My DD still talks about how she misses library day and I miss it too now.

I know I will miss it when he's at school

You might not😂one of the happiest days of my life was when my youngest child started school.

Same 😂. I put ds in preschool 5 days a week, 5 hours a day since he was about 2.6yo. Absolutely no regrets whatsoever.

I love my kids being at school! They're 9&5 and can be extremely hard work, so them going to school gives us all a break.

Plus, I love hearing what they've been up to, who they played with etc. It gives me a chance to miss them, and the days don't feel so incredibly long. I mean, by the end of the longer holidays we're all sick of each other! Half terms are nice, though, and INSET days.

The winter makes it feel so much harder, too.

I could have written your post a few years ago OP. Don't feel bad, it's effing hard! The extra whammy of working from home so you never get away from it all is really hard. Plus you're trying to actually work amidst chaos rather than going to a nice workplace somewhere with adults!

I had a Sep baby too and boy that year is hard! All his little friends skipped off to school and he was so sad to be left behind. He desperately wanted to go. And was more than ready for it. It sounds like you have a live wire which really makes it all the more full on.

It's perfectly normal to feel as you do. All I can say is hang in there and don't blame yourself. And as a PP said planning ahead makes a big difference. Maybe get a planner and write in some little trips. I found even just getting a train or a bus to nowhere special was fun for them (cos we never normally did that). Just cheap days out. Look online for local ideas or even your tourist office. And maybe print out sheets of things to look for etc on your journey. Mine loved a clipboard and a pencil at that age! Dot to dots etc

Are you using all your 30 hours child care? For the second year of pre school we swapped ours to a pre school with a school attached as it was much more stimulating with assemblies and older kids around etc.

Thanks for some lovely non judgmental replies.
Yes we use all 30 hours during term time as he is in the compressed hours I work over three days.
I am ex EY teacher so we do a ton of crafts etc. also learnt to read!
Last year he had four lovely friends we met with regularly or went to toddler groups with, whose mums saved my sanity. This year they have gone to school or have had younger siblings whose naps times don't work with meeting up etc. so it feels a bit trickier.
He had a lovely day playing with a friend at a local park in the cold playing with mud, me not so much and I felt a bit snappy towards the end but he told DH he'd had the best day with mummy 🥺
I'd love to do swimming but as I said I have a disability so stairs, slippy mud or swimming pool areas are out for me.
We will get the bus on thurs, he is excited about this. Small things eh.

@whatisheupto
Yes I think the wfh thing compounds it as I feel like I never escape, but our local office is now closed and I can't share work space as it's confidential info I deal with.
I feel DS has to deal with my frustration at being in the house what feel like all the bloody time which is in no way his fault or problem, poor chap as he is lovely

School has been brilliant for my DS (he's in Reception). He'd definitely outgrown nursery/pre school and I love seeing how much he learns and how much his confidence has grown since he started school. I love little things like doing "homework" together. I pick him up twice a week and really enjoy our afternoons together. We're home by 3.30 so there's enough time to do something if we want or we can just hang out together and it feels like quality time as opposed to endless days with him where I run out of things to day/patience!

Honestly op we worry about shit like this but he wont think about it that way, he'll remember all the time he spent with you going to parks and playing in the house, we put so much pressure on ourselves but we can't be perfect and winning on every front, housework, careers and child care it's just a lot to deal with.

My DD will start school in September and she still enjoys classes, but they are for preschoolers rather than toddlers so a bit more geared to her age. Is there anything like that near you? We do gymnastics, music and football, they are for 3-4 year olds so all around the same level. She does drop off swimming classes where I don't get into the pool with her - would that be an option for you?

Other stuff were doing is trips to indoor places like museums, NT properties and large soft plays, they take 1+ hours to travel to and are busy in school holidays at weekends so I'm making the most of being able to do them in term time! Can you consider doing day trips to visit nearby places? In the summer I'm hoping to do park trips to big parks further away (that take all day to explore) and beach day trips. I did this with my eldest before starting school and she loved it.

My dd doesn't turn 4 until May so she is a bit younger. I think she'll definitely be ready for school in September.

@herture
We have a soft play pass, go to the library most weeks and do a class on saturdays, hopefully also starting one on Thursday morning in a few weeks 🤞🏻
Most classes are aimed at younger kids or babies here so a bit limited, ditto with our local museum which does a toddler time, DS is always the oldest by far unfortunately but I will have another look about thanks

Maybe you need to ask your DH to take over Saturdays and you get some time to yourself... even just for a few hours? They often need asking as they don't realise!!

So glad it's not just me.

DD is 4, early September birthday so had a full extra year of joy. I'm pretty sure she's on the spectrum also, so very full on, very full of energy. I'm so stressed, everyone is saying I look worn out. I've started with a big psoriasis flare which I haven't had since I was a child.

I work 4 days a week but I've used annual leave to make it 3 days until she starts school to save on nursery fees, but the 4 days a week I spend with her are killing me off. I LOVE my daughter, but its all too much and our relationship with each other is suffering 😭

Cannot WAIT for school to start so I can enjoy being able to miss her!